


In a Pool of Blood

by rc0ncan



Series: Mafia Frerard [2]
Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Bottom Gerard Way, Eventual Smut, Frerard, Italian Mafia, M/M, Sequel, Top Frank Iero
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-03
Updated: 2020-03-17
Packaged: 2021-03-12 21:25:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 21
Words: 25,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22996624
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rc0ncan/pseuds/rc0ncan
Summary: *Sequel to In a Hail of Bullets*SPOILERS!!!It's been two years since Frank left Gerard and while he still thought about him a lot, he felt he made the right choice. That was until two druggies are captured and brought before Frank, being accused of owing the Iero Family a lot of money. Frank's entire world is turned upside down and he starts to wonder if his "noble act" did more damage than he could have ever imagined.
Relationships: Frank Iero/Gerard Way
Series: Mafia Frerard [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1634962
Comments: 6
Kudos: 35
Collections: Frerard





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hey friends! here is the second installment to mob boss frank. If you haven't already, you should read In a Hail of Bullets, otherwise this story will make NO sense. as always i love the kudos and comments so keep them coming!

**It's been two years since the first story, so that would make Frank 32**

**And Gee is 23**

—————

Gerard groaned as he rolled over. His head was pounding and his mouth was dry. He didn't recognize the room he was in, nor the man that laid passed out next to him. All he knew was Jed asked him to go home with this guy and in his drugged haze he didn't question in.

Fucking Jed. His idiotic drug dealer boyfriend. He met him about a year ago but he didn't have it in him to leave. He didn't like being sober. Being sober meant thinking about Frank.

_Frank._

It had been almost two years since Frank walked out and no matter how many times Gerard tried to call or see him, Frank had effectively cut himself out of Gerard's life. It hurt. It hurt so fucking badly that Gerard found solace deep in a drug den.

Running his hands through his messy red hair, Gerard got up and started getting dressed, limping as he went. That guy last night was way too fucking rough and he left several marks on Gerard's body, but he didn't want to see them. He needed to get out of here and get back to Jed. He was far too sober for his liking.

After finding all his clothes, he stumbled on the sleeping mans jeans, pawing through them until he found his wallet. Next to his ID was a fairly new photo of the man with a beautiful woman and two young kids. Gerard scoffed. of course this piece of shit would be cheating on his lovely wife with some young fuck toy. Also inside the wallet was several hundred dollars. Gerard grabbed the cash and stuffed it into his tight jeans, flung the wallet to the floor and walked out.

————————————————————————

Frank was also just waking up as well but he lived a much different life. After leaving Gerard, he poured himself into his business, expanding his empire. He thought about Gerard all the time and figured he was dating some handsome young man who was giving Gerard the world. Those thoughts made his heart ache but it was better then Gerard potentially being killed because of Frank.

Frank never dated. He paid the occasional prostitute but he was never interested in giving his heart to anyone else. He figured it was because deep down, Gerard still held it. Many nights he was lonely and thought about calling Gerard, just hearing his voice, but when he finally got the courage to make the call, Gerard's number had been disconnected. It's for the best he figured.

Things were still a little tense with John Castelleneta but they both stayed in their respective territories. Frank wanted to ask John about Gerard but they hardly spoke as it was. It wasn't like Frank had time to really socialize anyway. There was a recent issue with some of the drugs dealers and using not paying and Frank needed to get a handle on it.

The largest dealer was named Jed Wilson. He was scum under the earth on a good day and Frank despised him. He had a tendency to lower the price for himself and his buddies, or "forget" to collect money altogether. Normally he wouldn't have even ended up on Frank's radar but over the last year he had amassed nearly $30,000 in debt to the Iero mafia family. And Frank couldn't ignore that. He had sent his men to find this tweaker and bring him to Frank.

After stretching his stiff limbs, Frank stood up just in time for a swift knock at the door.

"Frank?" Ray called out. "We may have a lead on your Wilson guy".

"Alright, fuck I just woke up let me take a piss" Frank groaned as he made his way into the bathroom. Frank rarely smiled since Gerard. He was angry and frustrated all the time that he never found much to smile about anymore. After finishing his business, Frank pulled on a black tee shirt and jeans, making his way down to his office.

"Alright Ray" Frank sighed. "What do you have?"

"One of our informants have arranged a deal inside Candy Canes" Ray spoke. Candy Canes was Frank's strip club and he found himself there more and more frequently. Not because he was being attracted to woman, mostly because he didn't have anything to come home to anymore.

"Sounds great, arrange for us to be there" Frank said unenthusiastically and Ray walked out. He used to spend this days watching a gorgeous boy giggle, with the body of an angel. Now he goes to strip clubs and waits for rogue drug dealers. He really hoped Gerard had found a better life then he had at that moment.

————————————————————————

Gerard stumbled into Jed's shitty apartment. It was above a bar because Jed said it was the best place to be for the clients. The place was a pigsty, Gerard having given up trying to keep it clean months ago. Most of the shit was Jed's anyway. Opening the old fridge looking for food, Gerard chuckled bitterly when he saw it was empty. Jed had the money, it was his job to keep something in here or at least give money to Gerard, something he rarely did. That's why Gerard was so skinny. Well one of the reasons anyway. That and the drugs. Gerard's drugs of choice were cocaine and ecstasy. They kept him out of his head.

Gerard turned and meandered his way towards their bedroom. They didn't have a bed, Jed being too cheap to buy one. Just a mattress on the floor. Not surprisingly, Gerard found Jed passed out. Even less surprising was the random dude passed out next to him. Jed didn't see this as cheating, he saw this as "payment". If a druggie didn't have cash Jed would let them pay in other ways. Gerard once asked him how he would pay whoever gave him to drugs and Jed's only response was "mind your fucking business".

Gerard kicked the side of the mattress Jed was on, jarring him again

"Get up asshole, there is no food".

"Fuck you Gerard" Jed groaned.

"No, that fucking idiot who's car you tried to steal took care of that for you" Gerard sassed back. "I can see me not being home caused you to cheat. Again."

This was the same cycle. Jed cheated, Gerard caught him, left in anger until Jed found him, promised Gerard it meant nothing and wouldn't happen again, then they would start all over. Really Gerard was never mad about it. He didn't love Jed. The first few times were painful but after that Gerard just became numb. But the process of events was a good way to get Jed to be nice, even if for only a little while.

"Fuck you, Jed, I'm out of here" Gerard said nonchalantly as he grabbed a semi clean shirt from the floor and walked out. Gerard faintly heard Jed call after him but he didn't stop. Gerard knew Jed needed him more then he needed Jed. It became clear that Gerard was just a sex object for Jed to whore out for quick cash. For a drug dealer, Jed was always broke.

Gerard figured he would go find Lindsey, his favorite dancer at the Candy Cane. She tried so hard to save Gerard, until she realized he didn't want to be saved. So for the time being, she would give him a hot meal and a soft bed whenever he needed it.


	2. Chapter 2

Lindsey lived only a few blocks down in a substantially nicer apartment. It was a two bedroom unit that was recently built. A lot of dancers went down a seedy hole of drugs and vices but not Lindsey. Outside of her job, she looked normal. She invested her money and was very conscious on how she spent it.

Lindsey met Gerard through Jed. She knew Jed before but always thought he was scum. He treated both men and woman horribly but treated Gerard on a whole other level. Sometimes he was an affectionate loving boyfriend. Other times he was a monster. Lindsey never asked, but she noticed the bruises and occasional busted lip that Gerard would sport.

When Lindsey leased her apartment she begged Gerard to move in with her but he always declined. He would say things like he didn't want to bother her with his baggage. Instead, Lindsey gave Gerard a key and told him her home was his home. Which would work except Gerard always lost the key in the shit storm that was Jed's apartment. Fuck.

Gerard meandered up the steps to her apartment, getting to the door with the gold _108_ adorned on the front. Knocking quickly, he listened out. Lindsey wasn't a late sleeper even with her night job. She was usually up painting to reading.

"Hey Gee" She said as the opened the door, letting Gerard in right away.

"Sorry to bother you Linz" Gerard mumbled. He was definitely thankful for a friend like her who really cared about him since Frank.

"It's no bother. I was just reading but I replaced all my oil paints if you feel like you're in a creating mood". Lindsey and Gerard instantly bonded over art and she knew how he got. Whatever art Gerard created was like a window into his mind and lately he had been drawing and painting more morbid scenes. Lindsey loves horror just as much as the next, but she couldn't help but see resemblances of people in his art that looked a lot like him.

Gerard walked past to the spare room that Lindsey was ultimately using as a studio. She followed behind him, flopping into the couch in there. For the next hour, Lindsey read and Gerard painted and it was wonderful.

————————————————————————

Frank sighed as flipped through ledgers. If he was a more legitimate business man he would hire a secretary for this shit. He basically was making sure his businesses were bringing in money like they were supposed to. Ever since his old accountant had to be gut like a fish for stealing, Frank didn't trust anyone else. But after a few hours of this, the numbers all started to blur together and he had to close the books.

Pinching the bridge of his nose, Frank sat back in his chair. He contemplated calling a prostitute to help ease some of his tension, but he wasn't in the mood much to move from his chair.

His eyes scanned the room until they landed on a small built-in shelf in the corner. It was full of pictures in antique picture frames. His mother put most of them there when she was still alive, so they were pictures of Frank when he was little. But a sad smile made his way across his face when he remembered the small picture that wasn't there anymore. It was of him and Gerard at a little ice cream parlor. He took Gerard there for a date early in their relationship and Gerard pulled out his Polaroid camera and snapped a selfie of the two. Frank asked him to take another one so they both could have a photo.

After their break up Frank took it down. He couldn't bring himself to throw it away so he shoved it in the back of his bottom drawer. As Frank pulled the drawer open, he had to move pages to find it. The photo was a little discolored, but there was Gee's sweet smiling face and Frank's smirk.

Still after all this time he felt like leaving Gerard was the best for both of them, even though he was ridiculously unhappy. He wished he could at least talk to Gerard, it even for five minutes to see how he was.

A knock at his office door made him jump and he dropped the photo back into the drawer. Ray made his way in along with Brendon and Dallon. Watching his friends come in, talking among themselves, Frank forced a smile. He knew Ray was smitten with some girl he met a few months back. And Frank was pretty sure Brendon was fucking Ryan, the house help who had slowly morphed his way to being a low ranking member of the Iero family. Frank also had a feeling that Dallon held a flame for Brendon but he seemed oblivious to it. If it wasn't for Ray's girlfriend Frank swore they could classify themselves as the velvet mafia.

"Frank" Ray started, waving off the minor argument Brendon and Dallon seemed to be having. "Let's go over tonight's plans". Frank leaned back in his chair and waited for Ray to continue.

"Once you show up, every person who thinks you may even be looking for them will dig under. So I think we should send Dallon and Ryan into the club and post Brendon and Patrick outside. Me, you, Bob, Pete and Andy will sit and wait in the car until someone has a visual on Wilson. Then we grab him and drag his tweaking ass to the basement".

Frank thought it over and it seemed like the most plausible way to succeed. Nodding once, both men turned their attention to Brendon and Dallon who were still arguing.

"God damnit you two" Frank growled. "Just fucking fuck and get rid of this sexual tension". Brendon's jaw dropped and Dallon turned red as a tomato. Frank rolled his eyes and shooed to two men away with his hand. Once they left, Ray dropped his right hand man persona.

"Now that those two fucking idiots are gone" Ray chuckled. "How are you?"

"Shitty" was all Frank could say. But Ray understood, he knew. Ray also knew Frank would never ask him to check up on Gerard so he decided to take that matter into his own hands and try to find the boy that once made his boss and friend so happy.

"Nonetheless, we have work to get done so we might as not dwell" Frank sighed. The two men shared a silent moment of agreement before standing up to get ready. It was bound to be a long night ahead of them.


	3. Chapter 3

Lindsey wanted Gerard to stay with her so badly. She wanted to just lock him in her apartment forever because she knew once he left, that Jed would somehow get back in his good graces. And Jed knew better then to show his face around her house. Lindsey had rattled Jed's cage more times then he would care to admit to. She was a sweet looking rebellious girl but boy did she pack a fucking punch.

She truly loved Gerard. Not _like that_, Lindsey herself was lesbian. But she felt that they had a connection that went deeper than romance ever would. She called them 'kindred spirits'.

She knew what was about to happen. Gerard had been painting for about three hours and his piece looked like it was almost finished. He would thank her, offer to let her keep his art which she sometimes did. Lindsey would feed him and off he would go, most likely back to Jed. The worst part was she didn't have time to argue with him about it tonight because she had to be at the club in a few hours.

Lindsey was one of the more popular dancers so on top of tips she made, the club also gave her a nightly "fee" just for coming. She had _a lot _of loyal customers and the club learned that their liquor profits were up nearly 40% on the nights she danced. Being the more popular dancer, she had her pick of time slots and she always picked prime times. She didn't have to dance until later in the night but she liked to have plenty of time to get ready and stretch. She was a stripper but took her job seriously, especially when she could clear over 10k a week if she wanted to.

Right on queue, Gerard grabbed a paper towel and began wiping his hands. Lindsey took this as her time to get up and see his work. It looked like a nighttime scene with a young boy sprawled out on the middle of the road, left for dead.

"I call it the lost boy" Gerard said softly. Lindsey was definitely concerned about his mental state now.

"It's hauntingly beautiful" she replied. "Can I ask? Who is the boy?"

Gerard shrugged. "Just a nameless boy. He blends into the crowd". Lindsey nodded and left it alone

"Are you hungry? My mom came by the other day and we made a bunch of lasagna". Gerard's eyes lit up. Lindsey and her mom were like best friends and they cooked like no other. It made Gerard miss his father. They hadn't spoken in so long.

"Please" he breathed out. That's how the two friends sat at Lindsey's dining room table, eating and laughing.

————————————————————————

Gerard knew Lindsey had to work and he didn't want to be a bother even though she told him repeatedly he could stay. After their meal together, he left, walking towards a local park. Gerard didn't want to go home even though he was pretty certain Jed wasn't there anyway. He sat on a bench, a little ways away from the playground and watched the kids playing. Gerard envied then. Their youth, their carefree demeanor. He hoped life wouldn't fuck them over like it seemed to do him.

But Gerard also knew his life didn't fuck him over, he did that all by himself. He cut off ties with his father and disappeared. He has a drug dealing abusive boyfriend who treats him like garbage. He has so many ways to get out of this life yet he doesn't want to. Deep down Gerard felt like it was his fault that Frank left so therefore he deserved everything he got.

He deserved to be beaten by Jed so hard that he ended up blacking out in a strange alley left to practically crawl home. Deserved to nearly OD on drugs more times than he cared to admit. Deserved to be unhappy.

Gerard didn't want to think about Frank, didn't want to think about his large tattooed hands running over another mans body. He wasn't a total dick hoping Frank was miserable but he definitely didn't want to think about him being happy.

Just as tears began to well up in his eyes, someone in a dark blue jacket sat on the other end of the bench. Gerard didn't have to look up to know who it is and he bit back the tears that were threatening to spill out. He doesn't like to let people see him cry, at least not since Frank.

"Gee ..." the person next to him spoke. He turned his head to see his moronic boyfriend Jed, looking guilty. "What are you doing out here by yourself? And with no coat? You're going to get a cold" Jed said as he pulled his jacket off and draped it over Gerard's shoulders. It was warm and he badly wanted to wrap up in it but this was an act. This nice show of chivalry was all part of their game. A game that Gerard was slowly beginning to grow tired of.

After being certain his voice wouldn't shake or crack, Gerard finally spoke up. "You're so worried about me getting a cold or getting hurt but you weren't two weeks ago when you kicked me so hard in the stomach I couldn't get up off the cold concrete for like an hour". Jed winced a little at Gerard's forwardness.

"Baby..." he sighed. "You know I don't mean to do those things to you. You just make me so angry. You know I love you so much". Gerard felt like he was going to vomit at the word _love_. He didn't love Jed and he knew Jed didn't love him yet he said things like this trying to make Gerard complacent.

"Can I make it up to you?" Jed asked. He already knew the answer. Gerard just shrugged. "Let's go see your friend at Candy Canes tonight" he said with a warm smile. Lindsey was a wonderful painter and sketcher, but Gerard felt her true art form was dance. He wasn't turned on by the motions, he was just entranced with the way her body moved, the poetic motions, the way her limbs portrayed emotion. Even though Gerard was really fucking gay, Jed was still jealous of his and Lindsey's relationship. Gerard would tell him he needed to be more concerned about the bouncers being attractive than the dancers but Jed never saw it that way.

Gerard looked up at Jed who for a genuine moment looked like he cared. He reached his hand out for Gerard to take it and after hesitating for a moment, he did. The two men walked hand in hand out of the park, both knowing their relationship was seriously fucked up but both not caring at that moment.


	4. Chapter 4

Frank exhaled a lung full of smoke as he sat in the back seat of his SUV, in the dark, waiting. He hated waiting, but he didn't want to screw this up. Jed had a great way of eluding his men. His apartment situated above a bar on a very busy street meant they couldn't go in and grab him, they had to basically wait for him to step on their turf. Which as it turned out he did quite often, but always under the radar.

The SUVs were parked behind the club but it really didn't matter. Frank owned this joint and he could come and go as he pleased. They watched some of the later scheduled dancers arrive, as well as some of the waitresses come and go as their shifts started or stopped. It felt like hours had passed before Frank's phone started ringing.

"We've got them" Dallon said. Frank should have questioned _them_ but he didn't. Shoving his phone into his back pocket, all four doors to the SUV swung open and the men made their way inside the building. Frank made sure to build this building with a back hidden stair case and a concrete basement. He had a strange love for dark concrete basements.

————————————————————————

Gerard had watched one of Lindsey's sets, as well as a new girl named Hayley with orange hair. He was starting to get annoyed though. When they first arrived, Jed said he would be back and left, leaving Gerard all alone. For someone who was ok with pimping his boyfriend out, he was also oddly jealous and when they were in a crowded setting like this he hardly let Gerard even pee alone.

After almost an hour, Gerard got up and headed for the door. He was ready to leave and didn't care much if he found Jed or not. While weeding his way through the hordes of horny men, and even getting his ass slapped a handful of times, he stumbled right into Jed as he was coming back inside.

"Where the fuck did you go?!" Gerard yelled to be heard over the loud music.

"Business" Jed yelled back. Gerard was ready to go around and leave until he was grabbed by two strong hands. He watched Jed be grabbed by two large men who instantly put their hands over his mouth to muffle his yells.

"Are you going to come along nicely sweetheart or are we going to have to muffle you too?" The smooth voice behind him spoke. Gerard watched as Jed was dragged away from the crowd kicking and unsuccessfully trying to break free. Gerard figured it wasn't worth the scuffle. Jed was stronger than him and if he couldn't break free, then Gerard didn't have a chance either. He stayed silent as he let this unknown man lead him away from the crowded bar and down a back staircase.

————————————————————————

Once inside, Gerard winced as Jed was practically thrown to the ground and kicked. They seemed to ignore Gerard for the most part, letting him kneel down on the concrete as all three men turned their attention to Jed.

"You're in a heap of shit now" one man growled while the other lifted Jed by his hair and punched him in the jaw. Jed groaned in pain, trying to respond but his words were only resulting in more hits and more kicks.

"The boss is coming in to see you and trust me, he won't be nice".

Gerard felt a slight rush of anger shoot through him because he was pretty certain this had to do with Jed's drug dealing. Something that, sure Gerard liked before but was truly hating right about now.

After several minutes had passed, Jed and Gerard were found perched on their knees with their hands tied behind their backs. This should have been a scary situation for Gerard, but it wasn't. Dating Jed meant Gerard found himself in situations like this a lot. Being pushed, hit, having a gun pressed to his head, being forced to whore himself out all because his fucking idiot boyfriend had a tendency to not pay his debts. But yet, Gerard stayed with him.

Gerard figured he stayed with Jed because he wanted death. Ever since Frankie left him, he didn't care to live or die, he just couldn't find it in him to off himself by his own hand. If he was patient enough, Jed was sure to get so angry he just ended Gerard's pathetic existence.

Distant footsteps made their way towards the room Gerard was in and he hung his head. Jed was groaning and spitting up blood and Gerard just rolled his eyes. _That's what you__ get, asshole__. _

The door swung open and through the strands of red hair, Gerard could see a pair on back converse sneakers. Gerard wanted to lift his head and see the man that had just joined them but months of being slapped around by Jed or high and drunk horny men wouldn't let him.

"Which one is he?" The voice said harshly. One of the men kicked at Jed, causing him to groan.

"This one is your man. The other one was just with him when we caught him" their captor said.

Gerard heard a slight scoff as the unknown man paced back and forth in front of Jed, not paying much attention to Gerard just yet.

"So" The man spoke after several moments of silence. He stopped pacing and looked down at Jed who was panting and bleeding. "You are the fucking idiot who likes to get high on my dollar."

From the corner of his eye, Gerard could see that Jed wasn't as afraid of this man but he should have been. He sounded terrifying.

"You know I'm good for the money Fr-" his talking was cut off when the man grabbed a fist full of Jed's hair and shoved him onto his stomach on the cold ground.

"You think this is a game. You think you can string me along and keep getting high on my shit. You owe me $30,000 and you're going to pay up or I'm going to slice your skin open 30,000 times."

"My whore" Jed sputtered. "He's good, he can pay you back." Gerard wanted to scoff out loud. In public, he was Jed's whore, his slut. Like Jed was his pimp or some shit. Gerard was attractive and had learned many tricks with his body, and Jed used this to his advantage. He had to suck dick or let some guy fuck his ass to pay off Jed's debts. It was easier than the beating Jed was sure to give him if he refused.

After a moment of silence, the man kicked Jed in the stomach, hard. He groaned and coughed up more blood. Gerard felt a little vindicated. The man walked over and crouched in front of Gerard. He could see the man was wearing tight blue jeans and a leather jacket, but he was still too nervous to look up.

"Well let's see this puttana you think is worth 30 grand" The man murmured as he reached out and lifted Gerard's face by his chin. It took a moment for Gerard's eyes to look into the mans, but when he did he was certain he was going to throw up.

He had seen those eyes before, the gorgeous honey colored irises of Frank Iero.


	5. Chapter 5

The two ex's stared at each other for a long moment, both sharing the feeling of shock.

"G-Gerard?" Frank stuttered. He couldn't believe who he was looking at. The boy he so desperately loved was right here, right in front of him. He had lost a bit of weight and his raven locks were colored fire engine red but his beautiful golden eyes shined back at him. Frank looked over Gerard's shoulder towards Ray who seemed equally as stunned.

"Untie him!" Frank demanded. Dallon stepped forward and sliced the knife through the thick duct tape, effectively freeing Gerard's wrists. He looked Gerard over and while he did look a little better from the beaten up mess he was two years ago, it wasn't much of an improvement. Gerard was skinny, almost sickly so. And his hair was greasy and matted. Frank fought every bone in his body that urged him to hug the younger man.

He noticed Gerard shivering a little. It was night time in Jersey in October and here he was walking around in black jeans and a cut off black shirt. Frank instantly pulled his jacket off, revealing all of those beautiful tattoos that Gerard loved so much. Frank draped the jacket around Gerard's shoulders much like Jed did in the park, but this time it wasn't forced or for manipulation. It was an act of genuine caring and Gerard clutches the sides of the jacket at the thought of Frank caring for him again.

"Gerard..." he spoke again, desperately trying to get his shocked brain to function. "How... how do you know him?"

Gerard stayed silent as he looked down towards the concrete floor.

"Finish this" he instructed towards Ray as he grabbed Gerard's hand and led him towards the steps. They needed to be alone to talk. Winding through the club and avoiding most of the crowd, Frank pulled Gerard into a side office and closed the door behind him. Frank's heart ached when he saw how stoic and unresponsive Gerard was, and he knew it was his fault. After what seemed like an eternity of silence, Frank stepped forward and tucked a red lock behind Gerard's ear.

"Gee?" He whispered softly. "Please talk to me. Tell me what is going on?"

When Gerard finally got the courage to look at Frank in the eyes again, a traitorous tear slid down his cheek.

"Jed is my boyfriend" he tried to say with confidence but it came out breathy and quiet. Frank looked surprised. Boyfriend?

"Gee, don't you know he's a -"

"I drug dealer, yes I know. Seems like I'm pretty lousy at picking my men" Gerard laughed bitterly.

"W-What does your father say about this?"

"My father? We haven't spoke in months. I would imagine he would be very disappointed in his golden boy who only knows how to hurt him".

Frank could tell he was getting upset but he didn't know how to stop it. This wasn't the Gerard he fell in love with, this was a shell of that man.

"I have tried so hard to forget about you" Gerard spoke, his voice getting louder as his tears started flowing more. "I got high. Then ran out of money so I had to let men fuck me and hurt me so I could get high again. Jed helps me forget."

"Gerard ... I had no idea ... I -"

Suddenly Gerard was shoving past him towards the door to leave. Frank wanted to grab him and shake him to try and understand, but he just let Gerard go as he tried to comprehend the last half hour of the night.

Gerard practically sprinted from the club and ran up the street. They only lived a few blocks away and the sooner he could get home and lock himself in the bathroom the better. He didn't give a fuck about Jed at that minute, all the pain of losing Frank two years ago had come flooding back and it still hurt so badly.

Running up the four flights to their shared apartment, Gerard opened the door and stormed in. Like a wild animal, he began pawing through their dresser looking for something, anything to ease this pain. In the back of Jed's sock door was one ecstasy pill. It wasn't going to be much but maybe just enough to leave reality if only for a little while. After popping the pill, Gerard slumped onto the floor, only then noticing Frank's jacket still around his shoulders. Gerard ripped it off in a moment of anger but just as he was about to throw it across the room he stopped.

It smelled strongly like Frank: cigarettes and coffee. Gerard couldn't throw it away, that was still his favorite scent even after all these months. He balled the jacket up and clutched it to his chest, nuzzling his face in the fabric. After a few deep breathes, Gerard finally fell apart. He sobbed brokenly into the jacket. He cried about everything: missing his dad, missing Frank, his shitty drug fueled life with his druggie boyfriend.

Gerard expected Jed to walk in at any moment and hit him for crying. Jed hated when Gerard cried and after a few good beatings over the matter, Gerard learned to bottle his tears up. He would only let them flow freely from time to time and only when he was alone. That is how Gerard fell asleep, curled up in his bed holding Frank's coat for dear life as he cried. He slipped off to sleep long before his drugs could take effect.


	6. Chapter 6

_"Oh fuck" Gerard moaned as he threw his head back against the backseat of the car he was in. Opening his eyes he looked up to see Frank's beautiful face above him, his brows furrowed and his mouth hung open as he fucks into Gerard harder._

_"F-f-Frank" Gerard breathed out. "Oh god don't stop, please don't fucking stop!" He begged as his nails dragged down his lovers back._

_Without saying a word, Frank suddenly grabbed Gerard's member tightly, causing him to yelp in surprise. Using his hands to match the motions of his own thrusting, Frank was successfully bringing Gerard closer and closer to his release._

_"Hold on, baby" Frank groaned above him, feeling that Gerard was getting close._

_"Oh god! I can't, Frank I fucking ... FUCK!"_

Gerard jerked awake and stared into the darkness of his bedroom. _Fuck. It was a dream_ he thought to himself. Which sucked because dream Frank fucking him made him feel better then any of the real guys he had been with in the last two years. Peeling away the thin blanket he was using, he realized very quickly that the dream had made him come and he was now a sticky mess.

Sighing, he climbed out of bed and changed his boxers. He noticed Jed hadn't returned yet but this wasn't a total surprise. Jed was a good talker. Either they let him off with a warning or decided to beat him up so badly that he would be found in an alley come morning time. Crawling back into bed with a new blanket, Gerard tried to close his eyes and fall back asleep but every time he started to drift off, memories and visions of Frank came into mind. Instead of admitting to the fact that Frank still had him completely wrapped around his finger, Gerard resigned the rest of the night to tossing and turning, reliving the laughs the two former lovers once shared.

————————————————————————

Jed was in rough shape to say the least. Frank knew Jed's limit and knew it was fast approaching so he would need to end this interaction soon. Grabbing the pistol from the holster on his hip, he used the barrel to tip Jed's chin up so the two men looked into each other's eyes. Jed's left eye was completely swollen shut and his nose was likely broken. It went well with his busted lip that would surely need stitches.

"Now you listen to me you stupid fuck" Frank said in a quiet, ominous tone. "I want you to leave. Leave this neighborhood, leave this state, disappear. I don't ever want to hear your name again unless it's in an obituary." Jed stared back at him in shock. He was prepared to die tonight but here Frank was, talking like he was going to be let go.

"Never contact your suppliers and never contact Gerard again. If I so much as see a single strand of your hair, I will gut you on the side of the street, no matter the time of day."

"You aren't that stupid, you'd be arrested" Jed tried to bite back with very little effect. Frank chucked darkly.

"You think that scares me? I don't give a fuck about jail. That's my business."

With a nod towards Ray, the men began dragging a barely conscious Jed out towards the cars, no doubt to dump him off at the city limits. Usually Ray would spearhead this activity to make sure it was done to Frank's standards, but with what just happened, he felt like his friend needed him.

All the men had been gone several minutes before Ray spoke up.

"So ... that went differently than I expected".

Frank scoffed a little before anger flared through his body and he grabbed a nearby wooden chair throwing it against the stone wall, watching it break into dozens of pieces.

"Frank" Ray spoke softly as he gently laid his hand on his bosses shoulder.

"That was Gerard" Frank whispered as he felt the stinging of tears begin. Gerard was supposed to be happy and healthy and here he was dating shitty drug dealers. There was no doubt in Frank's mind that he was responsible for Gerard's life. "He's broken ... I-I broke him" he said trying to hold back the sob that was building at the back of his throat.

"Frank" Ray spoke again. "Gerard is strong, a lot stronger than you maybe know or see. He isn't breakable, he's just lost". Frank smiled a little at Ray's explanation.

"I'm sorry about you having to ditch Christa tonight" Frank replied as he discretely wiped away a tear. Frank knew her birthday was a few days ago and Ray hadn't had a chance to take her out and celebrate.

"She understands" Ray said. Both men made their way out of the basement to head back to the mansion and have a very stiff drink.


	7. Chapter 7

Gerard groaned as he rolled over. It seemed like he was finally getting some sleep when the sun shone right through their worn out curtains. He didn't want to get up, every day was more shitty than the last. After his daily pep talk to himself to do something better than lay around, Gerard climbed out of bed and got dressed. His head was pounding and he could really use a drink or a snort or anything, but his stash was empty and Jed still hadn't come home.

Gerard decided to head towards the park and find another dealer who could set him up. As he walked, he noticed a small coffee shop he had never seen before. His eyes lit up at the thought of beautiful steaming cup of coffee warming his soul. He hadn't had coffee in ages because he used other means of waking up but he remembered the crumpled up bills in his pocket and decided to treat himself.

After paying for his drink, Gerard was falling in love all over again with the warming and aromatic welcome that a coffee shop gives off. Instead of slipping back out into the autumn air, Gerard decided to nestle into a small corner booth and people watch. He saw what looked like a moderately stressed business woman waiting for her order while talking on the phone. There was an older man, probably recently retired that still needed his morning caffeine fix. A group of no doubt college kids came in laughing and toting large backpacks. They made their way to a larger table, spreading out notebooks and books as they begin to study. Gerard was slowly realizing that the world wasn't nearly as ugly as he had always seemed to see. The road he decided to go down was far darker then what came and went from this cafe. Gerard instantly felt out of place.

While Gerard inspected the coffee shop patrons, it took him a few moments to notice someone had taken the seat next to him. Gerard sighed as he turned expecting to see a roughed up Jed but pleasantly surprised when he saw familiar tattooed hands were curled around a steaming mug.

The two men didn't speak, the initial shock from last night having already worn off. It took several moments before Frank finally spoke up.

"I'm sorry about last night" he said quietly. Gerard didn't respond right away, mostly because he didn't know what to say. Frank must have understood that because the pair fell into another only mildly awkward silence.

"Did you..." Gerard cleared his voice so it sounded less shaky. "Did you kill Jed?"

"No" Frank denied. "We let him go not long after you left and word has it he fled town". Frank tried to mask the smug smirk that was threatening to split across his face because the story he was telling was only about 15% true.

"He didn't leave. He never leaves" Gerard whispered, looking down at his now empty cup. Just then a coffee house worker stopped by asking how their coffee was tasting. Frank leaned forward, pulling his leather billfold out of his pocket and pulling out a twenty dollar bill. He handed it to the barista.

"Two more cups please, black." The barista smiled as she took the bill and walked away.

"What? No, Frank I couldn't ask you to do that" Gerard protested even though another coffee sounded heavenly.

"Please, I insist" Frank said. The barista was back in no time with two more mugs and set them down, placing Frank's change next to them.

"Will you please talk to me Gee?" Frank pleaded, feeling like the time was right.

"I don't want to" Gerard whined.

Frank reached over and hesitated before resting his hand on top of Gerard's gently, making the younger man jump a little in surprise.

"Tell me about Jed. How did you meet?" Frank tried a different approach.

After a few long moments, Gerard spoke. "I was wandering around one night looking for something and this man grabbed me and tried to pull me into a dark alley". Frank involuntarily tightened his grip on Gerard's hand. "And Jed was there and he scared the man away. I told him about ... well about you and that I was looking for an escape and he said he knew just the thing. That's the first night I did cocaine".

"Do you love him?" Frank heard himself as before he could stop it.

"No" Gerard spoke with no hesitation or ounce of emotion. "Jed was nice and sweet at the start of our relationship but he changed. He cheated, pimped me out, hit me, left me alone for days. That isn't love".

Frank couldn't explain why but he felt a surge of hope when he heard that Gerard didn't love Jed. That surge would quickly diminish when he digested what Gerard had said, that Jed treated him worse than one would treat an animal.

"But I guess it's what I deserve. I'm not worthy of love, that's why you left". Frank was astonished. Gerard spoke with such conviction it was that he truly believed Frank didn't love him.

"You think I left you because I didn't love you?" Frank asked softly. "I left you because I loved you so much and my love was going to kill you some day".

"Because this life is so much better" Gerard said bitterly as he gestured towards himself.

"That isn't fair. I didn't expect this to happen. I wanted you to live the life you deserved, a life I could never give you. You filled in all these blanks yourself."

"I'm so tired of everyone making the choices for me. My father. You. I want a life where I'm happy and I was with you, but it just wasn't enough. I wasn't enough." Gerard said as his eyes finally started to water. Frank was learning Gerard was damaged, terribly so. But not permanently. Frank could fix him.

"Where are you staying?" Frank asked, trying to change the subject.

"Jed's apartment I guess."

"But I told you, Jed left. He isn't coming back".

"And I told you that isn't Jed. He will disappear for a bit but never forever".

"Come stay with me. You love my home, my garden could use some of Gee's TLC" Frank said hopeful.

"I don't want to be a bother". Gerard said staring straight ahead. Frank grabbed his chin and gently turned his head so they were looking at each other.

"You have never been and you will never be a bother" Frank said quietly. Gerard searched his eyes looking for any ounce of dishonesty, only finding sincerity. Gerard ached to lean forward and attach their lips but before he could garner up the courage, Frank had climbed out of the booth and turned to reach his hand out for Gerard. For the first time in two years, Gerard felt safe and wanted.


	8. Chapter 8

Frank's house hadn't changed much as the two men walked inside. Frank pulled off his coat and would have offered to help Gerard with his if he was wearing one. Frank made a mental note to buy him some seasonably acceptable clothes so Gerard didn't get a cold or anything.

Just as they walked in the door, Ray turned the corner, stopping short at his boss and his bosses ex boyfriend standing in the foyer. His shock was immediately replaced with a warm smile.

"Hey Gee" he said stepping towards Gerard and side hugging him. Gerard blushed a little in response.

"H-hi Ray".

"Ray, Gerard will be staying with us for a few days" Frank interjected. Ray looked at him like he was nuts.

"I hate to bring it up but you remember how that worked out last time right?" Frank tried not to wince as the memory of Gerard's first visit to his home played out.

"Don't worry about it Ray" Frank spoke trying to sound cheery. "Things are so different from when they were back then". With that, Ray smiled at both men and retreated into Frank's office.

"Come on Gee" Frank said, interlocking their fingers together as he led Gerard towards the staircase. Without a word, the two men made their way up to the third floor and outside the room where Gerard was honestly the happiest he had been in his entire life. Well besides his childhood bedroom. Frank cleared his throat awkwardly, pulling Gerard out of his reverie.

"So, you can take my room as long as you are here, you deserve a little comfort".

"Wha- no, Frank, I don't want to put you out like that" Gerard protested.

"It's fine, it's really no trouble. I'll be down the hall in the guest room". Gerard's heart sank at that. Obviously they weren't dating or anything and Frank was too noble a man to have random hook ups with his ex. But Gerard didn't want the sex. Well sure he wanted the sex but he mostly wanted to just be held and snuggled. To just be wanted.

Frank took his silence as acceptance and took a step back. "The house is yours to roam. You aren't confined anywhere like before. Just avoid my office and the basement". Gerard had no problem nodding in agreement because there was no fucking way he would go down to the basement and he didn't see a reason to wander into Frank's office. Frank smiled a little and turned to walk down the hallway, leaving Gerard alone.

————————————————————————

Frank couldn't help but feel content with the thought of Gerard in his home again. He _knew _Gerard was safe and would be cared for, but he also waged an internal battle inside his head. He wanted to be with Gerard; love him, make love to him, care for him. But he also remembered the bruises. The sinking feeling of learning Bert had kidnapped him and he was in real danger. Frank wanted Gerard, but wanted to keep him at arms length for his safety.

Frank sat in the kitchen staring out the French glass doors looking at Gerard sitting in the garden. He looked so frail but Frank couldn't mistake the ghosting of a smile on his lips. Maybe they could be friends. Maybe he could help Gerard clean up and set him up for success. Maybe even reconnect him with his father.

Frank's heart ached at the thought of Gerard falling in love with anyone else, but as much as it ached, Frank couldn't bring himself to admit that he was still hopelessly in love with the boy.

Gerard refused to come in for lunch, only making an appearance long enough to use the bathroom or have a glass of water. He kept to himself, almost like he was walking around in a trance. He walked right past Jeanie like he didn't notice her.

"Gerard" she spoke warmly, pulling him out of his daze. He looked the woman up and down, almost like she wasn't real, before before returning her gentle smile and letting her pull him in for a tight hug. "How have you been?" She asked.

"I've been better" he chuckled a little at the irony.

"You're so skinny!" She exclaimed as she pulled away and poked towards his hips and stomach. "We'll fix that while you're here, dear. Oh, it's so good to see you" Jeanie cooed as she pulled Gerard in for another hug. After their brief conversation, Gerard went back outside to sit in the grass. The ground was cold and the sun didn't do much to warm Gerard up, but the fresh air was heavenly.

The day passed on with very little interaction between Frank and Gerard. Gerard was starting to look sicker and Frank knew he would start feeling the affects of withdraw soon enough. At that point he had a plan to help but needed to tie up a few loose ends before that could happen.

At dinner, Frank had instructed most of the men to dine elsewhere as to not overwhelm Gerard. Seeing as he knew Ray, the three men ate in the dining room together. Gerard hardly ate, merely pushing his potatoes around the plate and taking sips of water. Frank and Ray shared a worried look but nobody said a word.

After dinner, Frank slipped into his room to check the durability of the lock on the door, as well as make sure the bathroom was stocked with bottles of water and other necessities. Gerard was going to have to ride out the withdraws and it was safest for him to do it in a locked room.

Without much more thought, Frank escorted Gerard back to the master bedroom, talking about how he had to fire the most recent gardener because he almost killed the rose bushes. Gerard didn't say a word, only walking next to Frank and keeping his gaze towards the floor.

Frank placed his hand lightly on the small of Gerard's back as he led him through the threshold and into the bedroom.

"Are you ok? You look a little sick?" Frank asked, keeping up the last shreds of this rouse. He knew Gerard wasn't feeling well.

"I think I'm going to be sick" Gerard choked out as he sat gingerly on the edge of the bed. Gerard knew what he needed. He knew these were withdraw symptoms. He needed to find cocaine or pot or anything to stop the pounding in his head and the churning in his gut.

"You're starting to withdraw" Frank spoke softly as he stepped towards the door. Gerard's gaze didn't lift from the floor for even a second as he tried to ponder how to get back to his neighborhood and get high.

Almost as if Frank was reading his mind, he spoke again. "You aren't leaving here. You need to ride out this storm. It will take about four or five days." Panic flashed across Gerard's face at Frank's words. He stood up quickly and started pacing and and forth, only to stop dead in his tracks at the distinctive sound of a heavy lock sliding into place. He snapped his eyes over to the door where he saw Frank locking several locks, then turning around.

"I'll be right here with you while you ride this out. I'm not going anywhere, Gerard".


	9. Chapter 9

Another pang of fear shot through Gerard as he practically sprinted towards the door, trapping Frank between it and himself. Gerard had the height but he knew Frank was substantially stronger. Still his withdrawing brain was so desperate for a fix that he didn't care.

"You told me I wasn't trapped here" Gerard growled through gritted teeth.

"When you are sober, no you won't be trapped here" Frank retorted. Gerard grabbed at Frank, trying everything he could to move his tattooed ex out of his way, but Frank stood his ground. The two men tussled and shoved each other before Gerard spoke again.

"Just let me go! Let me live my life of misery in peace!" Gerard yelled desperately. "You don't love me, stop tormenting me!" Gerard's emotions started to overflow as he was quickly realizing he wouldn't be leaving. Not tonight anyway. Gerard crumpled to the floor as he curled up in a protective ball, sobbing.

Frank dropped to his knees and grabbed Gerard's face with his hands. "I'm doing this because I love you! I love you more than anything in this world and I want you to be healthy and happy and if locking you in a room to protect you from yourself will accomplish that, then I'll do it". Gerard watched a small tear slid down Frank's cheek. Frank still loved him. _Frank loved him_. Gerard pulled his face out of Frank's hands and curled back up on the floor. Frank laid down behind him and hesitantly wrapped his arms around Gerard, as both men cried quietly until they fell asleep.

————————————————————————

Frank was up for a few hours before Gerard's eyes cracked open. Frank had moved away to a nearby wall and was sitting against it, watching Gerard. The soft light glowing through the window signaled dawn had arrived. At some point in the night, a tray was brought in with a plate of food. Gerard figured Frank must have already eaten seeing as there was only one plate. Gerard's stomach grumbled but then violently lurched, causing him to stand and run full scale to the bathroom and vomit. Frank came in and leaned against the door frame, just as Gerard was finishing dry heaving.

"I was going to ask if you wanted some food but maybe a little water would be best" he said softly. Gerard could only nod. His body felt like it was on fire and the room was spinning off and on. He wanted to sleep but didn't at the same time. After a few minutes of kneeling over the toilet to make sure that he was in fact empty, Gerard stood up and shakily walked towards the door. Frank slipped his arm around Gerard's waist and helped him to the large bed. Tucking Gerard in tightly, Frank made himself comfortable in one of his big stuffed chairs. _This is going to be a long few days_ he thought to himself.

Gerard was asleep for another few hours. Frank wanted to leave and check in with Ray, maybe get a little work done but he knew that would be the time Gerard woke up. He promised him they would go through this together and he didn't want to flake on that. When Jeanie brought in breakfast she also brought in some books for Frank, knowing he wouldn't leave the room for anything short of a fire.

Frank was halfway through an amazing novel about WWII when he saw Gerard begin to move out of the corner of his eye. Closing his book, Frank walked over to the bed and gasped. Gerard was covered in sweat. He had a fever and was mumbling something in his sleep. Hallucinating. Fuck. Frank knew this would happen, but that thought didn't make this easier.

Frank went into the bathroom and filled a small ceramic bowl with cold water. Grabbing one of the wash cloths that Jeanie loved to knit, Frank walked back to the bed and set it on the nightstand. With one swift motion, Frank peeled the blanket away from Gerard's body. His clothes were filthy and probably soaked thanks to his fever. As gently as possible, and praying Gerard wouldn't wake up, Frank removed his shirt, jeans and socks, leaving Gerard in nothing but his boxers. He would have Jeanie wash his clothes so he had something clean to wear when he came down.

Sitting on the edge of the bed, Frank wrung the excess water out of the wash cloth and patted Gerard's forehead and cheeks. Being closer, Frank could make out a little of what Gerard was saying.

"Please don't leave me alone. I'm afraid of being alone. Frank will come back, daddy, I know he'll be back he loves me". Frank winced at Gerard's words but didn't respond. He just continued to pat his face with the cool liquid.

Gerard's words slowly turned into whimpers as he jerked his head back and forth.

"Shhhhh it's ok" Frank whispered knowing full well that Gerard couldn't hear him. "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry for all of this. If I could take it back I would".

After several minutes, Gerard stopped jerking in his sleep and began shivering. Frank dropped the wash cloth back into the bowl and wrapped Gerard back up in his thick blankets. As hard as he tried to fight it, Frank couldn't help it when he leaned forward and pressed a gentle kiss to the boys forehead. It was wet and cold but so familiar and so wonderful. Frank made his way back to the chair he was sitting in but couldn't find it in himself to get amerced in his book again. He spent longer than he would care to admit just watching the love of his life sleeping.


	10. Chapter 10

Frank had made sure that Jeanie brought in three meals a day while they were locked in that room. He also made sure that the food was dropped off and picked up while Gerard slept. For a full day, Gerard did nothing but sleep and vomit while Frank periodically dabbed his head with cool water. Frank had read through four books and even snuck in his phone for a little Candy Crush but mostly he just sat and watched Gerard. Late at night Frank would even curl up next to Gerard as they slept together. He hadn't realize how much he truly missed holding him before.

It was nearing dusk on the third night when Gerard was relatively lucid and conscious again. Frank had his glasses on and was completely immersed in the newspaper, too much so to notice Gerard was awake. Despite the pounding headache, Gerard took this rare opportunity to look at Frank, to really look at him.

Frank had bags under his eyes and a few worry lines. His hair was a little longer than Gerard remembered but not by much meaning Frank got it cut but would neglect it over the months. His fingers still appeared to have callouses on them which meant thank god he was still playing his guitar from time to time. Despite the last few years, Frank was still gorgeous and Gerard started to feel like Frank left because he deserved someone better than Gerard.

After several minutes passed, Gerard started to stretch out and groaned a little as the pounding in his skull refused to ease up. Frank glanced over the top of the paper to see Gerard was awake, causing him to gently fold up the paper and set it on the ground next to him.

"Hi Gee. How are you feeling?" Frank asked gently, sitting up straight in his chair.

"Like I'm dying" Gerard mumbled in response, his voice thick from not being used much.

"Yeah, withdrawing will do that to you" Frank chuckled a little.

"How much longer?" Gerard asked.

"Another few days at most. You're past the worst of it. You slept through most of it which is pretty lucky".

The pair fell into a comfortable silence, the only sound of light breathing.

"Why are you still here" Gerard grumbled as he closed his eyes. He didn't like confrontation but figured he was due some answers.

"Because I promised you I would be" Frank said simply. Gerard remembered Frank saying he loved him and he couldn't help the disappointment that washed over him when Frank didn't say it again.

"Frank" Gerard sighed as he garnered enough strength to sit up. "Why did you leave me?"

"Gerard I told you-"

"Cut the bullshit" Gerard interrupted. "Just quit with this whole knight in shining armor thing and have a real conversation with me".

Frank sighed. He didn't want to talk about this but Gerard was all but begging.

"Gerard, when you were taken I was scared. Like child afraid of the dark scared. I wanted to be strong for you but the thought of you being hurt just because of me made me sick. It was truly the first time in probably my entire life that I felt weak and vulnerable. You were my weakness, Gerard. But I can't be weak in this lifestyle so I figured me being miserable and alone was better than being weak".

Gerard was stunned into silence. He wasn't expecting an answer like that from Frank and he didn't quite know how to process it.

"You spent the last two years boasting about how this was such a beneficial decision and leaving me would only do us both some good. You didn't do it for me, or to save me. You did it for you. Our entire relationship, everything was for you." Gerard's words sounded spiteful but they came out barely above a whisper because his energy was waning fast.

After a long drawn out moment, Frank spoke again. "I'm a selfish man, Gerard. Would you love me if I was anything different then what I am?"

Gerard flopped back against the pillow, trying to breathe through another wave of nausea that suddenly hit. Frank figured if they were having deep conversations that he could throw out a question too.

"Why did you become estranged with your father? You two were closer then any father son relationship I had ever seen." Gerard rolled his head to the side to look at Frank. His eyes were bleary and he could sense exhaustion creeping up on him.

"Because if I wasn't worthy of you, I wasn't worthy of happiness period". And with that, Gerard closed his eyes effectively ending the conversation. When his light snores filled the room, Frank took it as an opportunity to step out and make a phone call.

————————————————————————

"Why the fuck did you let Gerard get away from you?!" Frank growled.

"Calm down" John tried to reason. "Gerard thinks he got away but he didn't. I know everything that's been going on. I know about Jed. I know about the drugs. I'm not an idiot". Frank was surprised.

"If you knew why didn't you try to stop it. Or better yet rescue him from it?"

"Because Gerard didn't want help. The more I tried to fix his broken heart the further away he wandered from me. Then one day he left his phone at my house with a note saying he was dead to me. I practically tore apart the city trying to find him. I have been watching Gerard from a distance for a while, hoping he would smarten up and come home". Frank sighed. He should have known that John would have an eye on Gerard, he always did. But how could he just watch him fall deeper and deeper into his addictions.

"It hasn't been easy" John replied as if he read Frank's mind. Once a week I drive by his place and see him. He looks so different and it takes everything in me not to grab him and throw him in the car. But he's an adult trying to find his way. I can just hope he finds his way back to reality at some point."

Frank told him about Jed owing him money and about accidentally capturing Gerard in the crosshairs. He also told him about the coffee shop and offering Gerard to live with him. He ended with the fact that Gerard was detoxing in his home at that moment and he couldn't be certain but Frank thought he heard a little sigh of relief on the other end of the phone.

"Gerard is with you?" John asked excitedly. "Can I come see him?"

"Well he is detoxing right now so he isn't much in the mood for guests. But come by in a few days, I'm sure he'll be happy to see you."

Frank had figured he spent enough time away from Gerard and ended the phone call by promising John to let him know when Gerard was coming out the other side. With that, Frank quietly stepped back on the room, locking the door behind him and resumed his vigil sitting by the bed keeping a protective eye on Gerard.


	11. Chapter 11

Five days. It had been five days since Gerard started his withdraw symptoms and while there were a couple close calls that Frank nearly called the doctor on, Gerard was finally turning back into his old self. He was awake more than he was asleep now, and he was even hungry occasionally. He had lost a little more weight through that ordeal but Frank swore he would see to it that Gerard gained that weight back and more.

When he was feeling up to it, Frank even walked Gerard out to the garden. The air was colder and he made sure to wrap a thick blanket around him, but the fresh air seemed to help clear both of the men's heads. It was outside in the garden that Gerard met Christa. Seeing as she was dating Ray and Ray still lived there, Christa was coming around more and more. But Frank didn't mind, Christa was nice and kept Ray happy.

"Hi Frank, who's your friend?" Christa smiled. Gerard didn't know Christa was Ray's girlfriend and he became instantly jealous.

"This is Gerard" Frank started simply. He didn't know what to call him. Friend? Boyfriend? Ex? He wasn't sure and for right now it was better to not open that can of worms. "Gerard, this is Christa, Rays girlfriend". She beamed at that and suddenly Gerard understood. He felt a little ridiculous as well.

"Hello Gerard" Christa said warmly as she reached out to shake his hand. Her hand was soft and warm and Gerard melted a little at the innocent contact.

"Christa loves this garden almost as much as you, Gee" Frank continued and Christa nodded in agreement.

"I just love nature" she replied in a dreamy voice. "No matter what happens, these flowers always come back stronger and just as beautiful". Christa patted the spot on the bench next to her to signal Gerard to sit down. They talked a little about their favorite flowers and that morphed into their favorite seasons and favorite foods. Frank felt comfortable enough to leave Gerard in Christa's hands as he stepped back inside to get a business briefing from Brendon and Andy.

Gerard and Christa were outside for almost an hour before they came back in. Gerard's nose was frozen but he actually looked happy. Gerard and Christa ate dinner together and even curled up on the couch watching a movie. If Frank wasn't certain that Gerard was gay he'd be pretty jealous. At about 9, Gerard could hardly keep his eyes open and Frank knew he needed more rest. After saying goodnight to Christa, Frank helped Gerard back up to his bedroom.

"How are you feeling?" Frank asked as he helped tuck Gerard in.

"I'm still kind of sick but it's better" Gerard responded. Frank hummed in response. He decided now that Gerard wasn't violently ill during the nights that he could sleep in the guest room and not have to make due on that chair. Frank was certain he would need a chiropractor after what he's put his back through the past week. As Frank turned to leave the room, Gerard's soft voice stopped him.

"Um, Frank?"

"Yes?" He said as he turned to face Gerard.

"I know we talked about you sleeping in the guest room now that I was feeling better and I know you haven't hardly slept in a bed and really you should be sleeping in a bed because your poor back-"

"Gerard" Frank interrupted gently.

"S-sorry I'm just kind of nervous. Would you ... maybe consider, and if you don't want to it's fine but would you maybe sleep ... with me? In the bed?" Frank was a little confused at what Gerard was asking, mostly because he was rambling and talking a mile a minute. "I just want to be held. It makes me feel safe. I haven't been held since..." Gerard's voice tapered off as he looked down in embarrassment.

It suddenly hit Frank at what he was asking and truly it was what Frank wanted too. He had secretly held Gerard in his sleep a few times this week but this sounded so much more heavenly.

"I would love to" Frank smiled as he walked towards the big bed. Crawling in behind Gerard, he wrapped his arms around the boy's waist, tucked his knees behind the others and rested his head against Gerard's back. Gerard sighed in approval. This was everything to both men. Frank's arms were so strong and Gerard's frame was so warm and snuggly. It was only a few minutes before the room was filled with a pair of soft snores.

————————————————————————

"Gee" Frank nudged softly. "Come on its time to wake up." Gerard was curled tightly around one of Frank's pillows as he was trying to be resurrected from one of the best nights sleep he'd probably ever had. He didn't want to move, he just wanted to sleep longer but Frank nudging him again told him he should probably wake up. Gerard could only groan in reply.

"Let's have some food, Jeanie made a big spread" Frank said gleefully. Right on cue Gerard's stomach grumbled. "See? I knew it. Let's go, lazy bones" Frank laughed. Gerard only rocked his body side to side once before rolling over and trying to fall back asleep. Frank knew Gerard was a stubborn fuck, hell they both were. But he also knew how to get Gerard moving as well.

"Huh. Ok Gee, stay in bed and sleep the day away. But I doubt there will be any coffee left by the time you come back to life" and with that Frank walked away. Gerard groaned even louder as he tried with all his energy to wake up.

"You are truly an evil man, Frank Iero!" Gerard yelled. Frank only laughed in response as he walked down the hall, knowing he won. Gerard's body may not have been wanting to move just yet, but his brain definitely wanted the coffee and now it would be impossible to go back to sleep.

Gerard finally mustered up enough energy this early in the morning to slip out of bed. Frank had left him a black tee shirt and some gray sweatpants that were no doubt brand new but Gerard wasn't complaining. He changed his clothes and started the long journey from the bedroom to the kitchen. He grumbled angrily the entire way, only voicing his annoyances louder as he approached the dining room.

"A fucking mansion this big should have a coffee machine on every floor but _no_ Frank fucking Iero doesn't-" he was shocked into silence suddenly as he turned the corner and stepped into the dining room, stopping dead in his tracks. Gerard's eyes grew enormous as he took in the khaki pants and white button down shirt with the sleeves rolled up on the man in front of him. He suddenly didn't need coffee to wake up this morning as he stared into the sad yet hopeful eyes of his father.


	12. Chapter 12

"Dad" Gerard breathed out. His father looked a little older, a little more worn for the wear. But those hazel eyes still held all the warmth and love that he remembered.

"Gee" John whispered before quickly closing the gap between them and nearly crushing Gerard in a hug. Gerard didn't immediately react to the hug. Mostly because he was surprised and confused and even a little ashamed. But after a moment or two, he wrapped his thin arms around his father.

"Gerard, are you okay?" John said as he pulled back to inspect his son. Gerard had changed. He was terribly skinny and even more pale then normal but John kind of liked his red hair. It matched his normally eccentric personality. Gerard noticed tears in his father's eyes. He wasn't surrounded by mafia men, it was just him, Gerard, Frank and Ray and he felt like he could show his emotion freely.

Gerard couldn't speak, words being lost in his throat so he only managed to nod a little. John pulled Gerard back into another hug and the two men embraced each other for what seemed like an eternity.

John slowly led Gerard to a chair that had been pulled out as he lowered his body. John to the chair next to him and looked into his eyes sadly.

"Where have you been, Gee?" John asked softly. Gerard felt shame wash over himself as he thought about it. He had been many places, many cheap hotel rooms, scratchy beds, ugly plush carpets. Again he couldn't find the words so he only shrugged in response as his gaze dropped to the floor.

"How could you think you would ever be dead to me?" John asked barely above a whisper.

"Because you deserve so much better then me" Gerard spoke as a tear rolled down his cheek. John leaned forward and wiped it away with his thumb.

"You are many things, Gerard Arthur. But a disappointment isn't one of them". Gerard hung his head at his father's words. He always knew no matter what that John was in his corner and he was so selfish to push that away.

"Tell me. How are you feeling?" John tried to change the subject.

"B-better" Gerard croaked out. "Thanks to Frank."

Almost as if on queue Jeanie walked in with a large platter of French toast. The four men sat down and aside from some small talk, they ate in relative silence.

————————————————————————

After breakfast, , John pulled Frank aside before he left. Gerard hardly noticed them missing because Christa had shown up and brought sketch books and pencils.

"I think we did this wrong last time" John said quietly so Gerard wouldn't overhear. "We fought over him like a couple of kids fighting over a toy. I just want you to know that I give you both my blessing."

"Oh ... uh ... well we aren't really together" Frank stuttered.

"Not yet, perhaps" John smiled knowingly.

"Not ever most likely" Frank replied dejectedly.

"I see the way you look at him. He still is the world to you." Both men turned to look at Gerard who had now made himself comfortable on the plush den carpeting, a sketch pad in his lap, his brows furrowed and his tongue poking out in concentration.

"Just don't hurt him" John added. Frank only nodded, not sure what he should be thinking or what he would do next.

————————————————————————

Having Gerard feeling better was definitely a godsend for Frank. He was actually growing to hate the walls of his bedroom because they were starting to look like prison walls in his mind. He decided he would redecorate in the near future just so he wouldn't cringe every time he came back in.

Gerard had been with him for almost three weeks. He looked healthy and laughed all the time. He even put on a little weight. But Frank worried what the younger man thought of their relationship. It wasn't one, yet Gerard acted like they were. Maybe even secretly hoped. Frank was still in love with Gerard and would love to resume their relationship but he just couldn't shake the drug use and the kidnapping. He could feel himself growing attached to the young man again and he needed to do something to regain balance in his life again.

"Hey Gee" Frank interrupted him sketching in the garden. "Can we talk?"

"Sure" he said, closing his sketchbook before Frank could get too close and see his work. Frank slumped down onto the ground next to him. The silence was awkward, for Frank anyway.

"I - don't take this the wrong way, I mean I love having you here but - when do you want to start looking at your own apartments?" He asked delicately. Gerard looked shocked. He loved being in Frank's home and getting to know Christa better.

"You don't want me here?" He whispered.

"It's not that I don't _want _you here it's just ... well your sober now and I think it's time to find a new normal for your life."

"You don't want to help me anymore?"

"This is me helping you, Gee. You've recuperated now it's time to stand back up. I'll help you find a place if you want but this is ultimately something you need to do."

Gerard nodded. "Sure" he laughed bitterly. "It's not like you're my boyfriend or anything."

Those words cut Frank deeper then he thought they would. He sighed as he ran his fingers through his hair.

"I'll probably have to move back in with my father" Gerard groaned. "I can't afford a place in the city myself."

"What about that ritzy art degree from that fancy art college you went to? Maybe it's time to put that to use".

Gerard just shrugged. He loved art but after college he purposely avoided a career with it because once it became a job, Gerard worried he wouldn't love it as much anymore. Frank patted him on the shoulder and stood up to leave.

"Why don't you love me?" Gerard whispered under his breath.

"What was that, Gee?"

"N-nothing" Gerard responded, internally grateful that Frank didn't hear. But Frank did hear, and if it wasn't for the absence of the distinct sound of a gun shot, he would have sworn he just took a bullet to the heart.


	13. Chapter 13

Frank felt the best way to start helping Gerard stand on his own two feet was to move his stuff out of his and Jed's run down apartment. Frank knew the place wasn't in Gerard's name and it was only a matter of time before they were evicted.

Frank didn't feel comfortable letting Gerard go alone and that only frustrated the younger boy. He lived these streets and walked alone all the time at all hours of the day and night. He loved Frank treating him like he was made of glass but these mixed messages started to wear him down. After compromising that Frank would come but stay in the car, both men loaded up and headed downtown. Unfortunately for Frank there was no parking directly in front of Gerard's building so he would have to park around the corner. After parking in the nearly empty parking lot, Gerard hopped out and headed around the building towards the entrance.

"Gerard?!" He heard someone yell, startling him. Gerard turned around to see Lindsey practically sprinting up the sidewalk and throwing herself in his arms.

"Oh my god, Gerard, you're okay, you're okay!" She sobbed. Confused, Gerard could only pat her back lightly as she dangled from his neck like a child.

"Y-Yeah, I'm fine, Lins."

"Fine?!" She growled pulling away to look him in the eye. "Fine?! You were missing for almost a fucking month! No phone call, no visit, nothing!" Gerard winced as he realized that yes, technically he had disappeared off the face of the earth for nearly four weeks. Lindsey shoved him against the bricks of the building roughly to drive home her point.

"I was scared to death, Gerard, I thought ... I thought something happened."

"I'm sorry, Lins, I would have called but I don't have a phone and I don't know your number." Gerard mumbled. Lindsey took a deep breath to compose herself.

"Alright, Gee. Tell me where did you go?" Gerard thought it over for a moment. His ex's? After a run in with the Italian mafia because Jed is a fucking idiot? Nah, that sounded way too fanfic for him.

"I was in detox" he offered up simply. Lindsey's eyes widened and a small smile spread across her lips.

"Really?" She asked almost tearfully. "I thought you were looking different. You could do with a little red hair dye touch up but you look wonderful". Lindsey looked Gerard up and down and honestly took a huge internal sigh of relief. Gerard must have put on nearly fifteen pounds and his sickly pale skin was replaced with glowing pale skin. At the wonderful news, she pulled Gerard in for another bone crushing hug.

"Hey, since you're here would you mind helping me pack some things? It's not much, but I'm staying with a ... a friend and I want to end this part of my life". At his request, Lindsey grabbed his hand and practically dragged him up the steps to his apartment. She didn't know the friend he was talking about but if they sobered up Gerard, they couldn't possibly be a bad person.

————————————————————————

Lindsey took the task of folding up questionably clean shirts while Gerard combed through the hoard of garbage and crap looking for anything he may need. He found an old watch and even some old vinyls. He was surprised that these items never ended up pawned, clearly he hid them well.

"So tell me Gee, are you living with this friend or just staying?" Lindsey asked trying to make small talk.

"Just staying" Gerard sighed. "He doesn't live downtown, he leaves in the suburbs."

"How the hell did you meet this person?" She chuckled. "Nobody can afford to live in the 'burbs unless they are hella rich."

"Well I don't know how much money he has but I know he's well off."

"He?" Lindsey asked as she wiggled here eyebrows suggestively. "Sounds like good boyfriend material".

"Money doesn't equal a good conscious, Lins" Gerard murmured.

"He took you in, sobered you up, put a little weight on your bones and a little glisten in your eyes. He's a good dude" she sighed. "I need to find me someone like that." Desperate to change the conversation, Gerard decided now was as good of time as any to ask what he had been wondering.

"Hey Lins, have you heard from Jed lately?"

"Not since you left. That's why I thought something terrible happened. How many times has that jackass busted your lip or bruised your eyes. I thought he took it too far and then disappeared."

"No one has seen him?" Gerard asked hopeful. Jed wasn't the kind of guy that would be a ghosting type of ex. He had a feeling if Jed was still around that there would be trouble. But he also noticed nothing really seemed out of the ordinary in their apartment. Granted it was appalling to say the least but nothing was obviously missing. Did Frank really kill Jed? Maybe Gerard didn't want to know. As shitty of a person Jed was, he didn't deserve a brutal death. At least not in Gerard's eyes.

"He hasn't been spotted at the club and the dealers around here are starting to think he stiffed them. Face it, Gee, he was a slime ball and now you get to move on. You should be jumping for joy."

After having successfully packing the last few years of his life into four grocery bags, the two headed towards the apartment door. As they walked down the steps, Lindsey went on and on about the newer dancer Hayley who was gorgeous and such a quick learner. Headed outside, Lindsey barely stopped her blabbing to even breathe. God Gerard had missed her company.

"Hey, would you do me a favor and take these bags around the corner to the black Escalade that's parked there? That's my ride." Lindsey looked at him skeptically. "I just need a minute. You know, to close this chapter" he said pointing towards the building that had his apartment. Gerard was a very sentimental guy and leaving this place was almost like a rebirthing. So many tears and fights and negativity here, he couldn't wait to bid it farewell and leave.

Slowly Lindsey turned around and made her way around the corner of the building. Facing the building, Gerard reached out and placed his hand on the cold bricks, closing his eyes. He was mentally leaving every negative thought and action at this place. He honestly wanted to start fresh.

Suddenly, a tight grip to his arm spun him around and pushed him up against the bricks, hard. Gerard hit his head with the forceful action and after rubbing what would no doubt be a large sore bump, Gerard pulled his gaze up to the person standing right in front of him.

"Hey baby. I've missed you." Came the manipulatively seductive voice of Jed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haaaa! You know Jed just ain't gonna leave like that. No, Gee won't be abducted or anything, but more stuff is going to happen. Lies, betrayals and a wedding, oh my! Until we meet again lovelies!


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i stan the hell out of LinZ in this fic, just sayin'

It wasn't hard for Lindsey to spot the car Gerard was talking about. Besides the fact that there were only about five or six cars in that parking lot, it was the nicest car hands down. As she approached it, the face of the driver came into view and she furrowed her brows trying to ascertain if it was who she thought it was. It's ... yes it's got to be Frank Iero.

"Frank?" She asked as she approached his open window.

"Oh, hey Linds. Kind of an odd place to run into you here" Frank said with his eye brows raised in surprise.

"Are you Gerard's friend?"

"Y-Yes I am. How do you know-"

"He's my best friend" Lindsey clarified. "Jed used to bring him to the club all the time and we just hit it off." Frank couldn't help the slight crinkle of his nose at the mention of Jed's name. A name he really hoped would be eliminated from this city very soon.

Lindsey obviously knew who Frank was because he owned the strip club. One of her first nights she was being heckled by some drunk asshole who was getting too handsy. Frank saw this and attempted to make his way through the crowded bar to intervene when he watched Lindsey spartan kick the guy right in the chest, sending him flying onto his back.

Frank all but dragged Lindsey into a back office and she was terrified she would get fired. Frank assured her that he would never fire a dancer for using self defense and wanted to commend her for being the kick ass woman she was. It was after this incident that Frank swore he would pay Lindsay whatever she wanted, give her whatever time slots she wanted to keep her around.

"I suppose if you are _the friend_" Lindsey continued "then I should be thanking you. Do you have any idea how hard I've been trying to get Gee away from Jed and sobered up? That guy is, like, addicted to the drama." Frank laughed a little at that because yes, Gerard was a little bit of a diva drama queen. Noticing Lindsey still standing there holding bags, Frank realized he wasn't being very much of a gentleman.

"Here" he said, climbing out of the drivers seat. "Let me help you." Frank opened the back seat door and Lindsey set the grocery bags full of clothes on the seat. Then it hit her.

"Wait!" She said loudly, startling Frank. "You're _him_! You're Frankie, Gee's ex!"

Frank scratched the back of his neck awkwardly. "Well yeah... technically I am".

"Well are you two back together?"

"What?" Frank squeaked. "No. No. No we aren't".

Lindsey thought about what she was going to do for a moment, weighing the pros and cons before deciding to just do it. Pulling her right arm back as far as she could, she punched Frank in the jaw. Hard. Stumbling back at the surprise action, Frank looked back at her with wild eyes.

"What the fuck!" He yelled. Lindsey stepped right up to his face where their noses almost touched.

"You broke his heart, I should have broken your fucking nose. You were the perfect loving boyfriend before you turned into a heartless prick and it destroyed him. But you also helped Gerard out tremendously. Don't you dare think that you didn't deserve that." She growled. Lindsey deliberately avoided his nose and eye so it didn't leave too serious of a mark. It's probably not smart to punch your boss in the face, but Lindsey was very protective of her friends and after all the nights she held Gee while he cried in her arms about Frankie, she always hoped to smash that dudes face in.

Hearing Lindsey's explanation, Frank agreed that he did deserve it. He wished it would have been Gerard's punch, though because it would have hurt a lot less. But he deserved it. He probably deserved worse but Lindsey was just being nice.

"Alright. Alright" Frank said as he stood up straight, checking his hand to make sure there was no blood. "Fuck that hurt. Where the hell did you get a right hook like that?"

"I grew up in the Bronx" she mumbled before climbing into the back seat and shutting the door behind her, essentially inviting herself to Frank's house. Frank just climbed back into the drivers seat.

"Wait, where is Gee?" He asked looking at Lindsey through the rear view mirror.

"You know Gerard. He's _saying goodbye_ to the apartment and the life he led while in it" she said waving her hand dismissively. Frank nodded in understanding. The two fell into a comfortable silence while waiting for Gerard. Frank occasionally glanced in the mirror, trying to figure out if he would have a bruise or swelling on his face.

————————————————————————

"Jed!" Gerard squeaked out in surprise. "What the-What the hell?!" He yelled, pushing Jed out of his personal space.

"Awe what, sweetie? You find someone else's dick to ride that's better than mine? If course you think you did, you always were a whore". Jed said in a sickly sweet voice as he pinned Gerard back against the building with his body.

"Get off of me" Gerard yelled, pushing Jed back again.

"Or what? You blowing the mob boss? Is that why you were let go without so much as a scratch?" Gerard finally looked over Jed's features and he looked rough. Healing bruises that were no doubt deep on his face as well as fresh scars. He was sickly skinny and Gerard had never really noticed before. He was looking addiction right in the face and it scared the hell out of him. Jed used to be attractive, at least Gerard thought so. But maybe he wasn't attractive, maybe his lifestyle was.

"I'm sober now" Gerard said confidentially. "I'm starting my own life and getting my own place. And if you haven't done the math yet, you won't be in it. We're over".

"Oh your sober, huh?" Jed said, pinning Gerard against the building for a third time. This time he used his hips to keep Gerard in place and no matter how much he shoved, Gerard couldn't push him off this time.

"You think you can just leave me? You can't. Because I'm in here" Jed whispered as he tapped Gerard's temple lightly. "You'll never shake me, you'll never be free. And when you realize that, we'll run away together. Just you and me." Jed grabbed Gerard's face and pressed their lips together roughly. Gerard definitely didn't kiss back, if anything he fought more. Jed's lips were slimy and chapped. They weren't soft and plump like Frank's.

Jed finally let go and took a step back away from Gerard, looking at the other man bend over like he was going to vomit. "Don't forget about this little talk, Gee. I'll be seeing you soon" Jed smiled as he turned and walked away.

Tears stung Gerard's eyes as he tried not to let his knees give out and drop him to the concrete sidewalk like a bag of potatoes. He was ashamed. He wanted to pretend like the last few years didn't happen but they did. He was certain Jed wouldn't just disappear but now being out and about in the city scared him. What if Jed broke into Gerard's new apartment when he was alone? 

After taking a few minutes to compose himself and wipe his eyes, Gerard stood up on shaky legs and started walking to Frank's car. Frank was staring at himself in the mirror and Lindsey looked like a bored teenager sitting in the back looking through her phone. Neither of them noticed Gerard until he pulled open the passenger side door and slowly climbed in.

"Gerard, what's wrong?" Frank asked with a concerned tone. Gerard was white as a ghost.

"N-nothing" he whispered, not trusting his voice.

"Bullshit, Gerard, you look like you just witnessed a murder" Lindsey spoke, making Frank cringe. Gerard had a flash of that memory and just erupted into tears.

"Oh Gee, I'm sorry I didn't mean-" Lindsey spoke quickly.

"It's fine" Frank said dismissively as he grabbed Gerard and held him to his chest, holding him tightly. Gerard cried his little heart out, soaking the front of Frank's shirt in the process. He cried about everything. Jed. His words. Missed time with his father. Frank leaving him. The man in the basement.

After what seemed like an hour, Gerard calmed down a bit. He could hear Frank's steady heartbeat and feel him comb through Gerard's hair with his fingers. Both of those were soothing. After Gerard had been calm a few minutes, Frank took his face in his hands and looked into his eyes. They were so close and the temptation was too strong. Frank connected their lips in a soft slow chaste kiss and Gerard reciprocated immediately.

It was like the rest of the world floated away. No Lindsey. No Jed. Nobody but Frank and Gerard. Gerard felt guilty seeing as Jed had been on his lips not long before, but it was like that rough touch was being replaced with Frank's soft gentle one. It was giving him a warm tingling feeling.

Their moment was broken by a loud "I don't know if this is sweet or if I will be punching you in the face again" coming from the backseat.

Both men sat back in their seats as Frank silently started up the car and headed for his house. Gerard felt on top of the world, like he could accomplish anything. A soft smile graced his face during the drive.

Frank on the other hand had a large knot in his stomach and he felt guilty. Two years was a long time and as much as he tried not to lead Gerard on, he had a feeling Gerard would have his heart broken again.


	15. Chapter 15

Once back at the house, Jeanie had prepared lunch for the couple. After Lindsey insisted she deserved a meal because she carried some of Gerard's stuff, they all sat around the table eating soup and grilled cheese sandwiches. Lindsey talked their ears off about anything and everything, and every so often, Frank would catch Gerard staring. Once they made eye contact, Gerard would blush and look away. It definitely didn't help the sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach.

As they finished up lunch, Christa came by and Gerard introduced her and Lindsey. This gave Frank an out, as he slipped quietly through the kitchen door. Finding Ray sitting in the den, Frank grabbed him by his shirt and practically dragged him into his office, slamming the door behind them.

"Alright Frank, what's wrong?" Ray queried. When Frank needed to get something off his chest, he started to act like this. Ray made himself comfortable on one of the plush chairs as he watched Frank pace back and forth like a wild animal trapped in a cage.

"Gerard ... he ... I ... we ... FUCK!" Frank yelled as he grabbed a crystal glass off his desk and chucked it towards the wall, shattering it.

"What happened?" Ray asked, not being fazed by Frank's outburst.

"We kissed." Frank admitted as he leaned heavily against his desk.

"And that's bad..." Ray concluded.

"Yes. Because he's going to get hurt again. He's going to go downhill again. He'll probably die after that heartbreak because I'm such a selfish fuck".

"But the kiss itself, that was good?" Ray was taking a confident angle here, but he had a hunch.

"It was wonderful and magical and everything it always used to be" Frank mumbled as he hung his head.

"But that's bad..."

"Fuck, Ray you don't understand" Frank groaned as he turned to leave, only to be turned around and flung against the wall as Ray pinned him there by his shoulders.

"Do you love him?" Ray asked sternly.

"Do I-what?"

"Do you, Frank Anthony Iero love Gerard Arthur Way?" The two men stared into each other's eyes, both knowing the answer.

"Yes" Frank whispered as he closed his eyes. Ray waited for them to open before he spoke again. 

"You love him. He loves you. Fuck everything else. All the rest is bullshit". Ray took his hands off Frank's shoulders and took a step back. "Don't torture yourself over the past, Frank. The next sentence I say to you comes from a very loving place but fuck Frank. Stop being a fucking idiot. In every other aspect of you're life you are meticulous and calculated but when it comes to Gerard you're a fucking moron. Wake up before you lose him forever." Without giving Frank time to think of a response, Ray walked out of the office leaving Frank and his thoughts alone.

————————————————————————

Gerard was in heaven right about now. Two dear friends and the man who held his heart all under the same roof. Lindsey had to work that night so Frank ended up driving her back to her place while Christa and Gerard watched a movie. Gerard was dozing off when he figured he should head up to bed. Frank had been gone for some time now, a few hours at least but Gerard didn't worry much. Frank practically ran these streets.

Gerard didn't turn on the light in their bedroom because he didn't need to. He knew his way around the room even in the dark. As he walked to the front of the room to open up the dresser and grab his sleeping pants, he noticed out the window Frank's car was parked. Looking a little closer he noticed Frank standing talking to someone. The person he was talking to was about his height but very close to him. Not quite touching, but very close.

Gerard had an icky feeling in his stomach. Swiftly he left the room and headed down the steps quickly through the kitchen, out the back door and around the corner of the house that had lots of bushes. Was it creepy that he was essentially spying on his ex? Kind of. But Gerard needed to get a better look at this person. Getting closer he could start to hear bits of their conversation and kneeling under a bush and around the corner of the house, Gerard could see.  
It was the back of what was certainly a woman with shoulder length black hair and a black coat. Her coat came to just below her knees, where she had black heels and no doubt stockings. She was pacing back and forth a little as Frank stayed still, leaning slightly against his truck. He looked a little annoyed.

"This just isn't fair" he groaned as he pinched the bridge of his nose.

"You don't have a choice in the matter, Frank" the woman spoke with a slight Italian accent.

"Because you never gave me the choice!" Frank gritted through his teeth.

"Just think about it" she said with a shrug as she turned to walk away. Gerard caught a glimpse of her face and she was beautiful. She had pale skin like his and her hair framed her face in a very flattering way. Gerard almost joked that he and this woman could be mistaken for siblings if they were ever seen together.

Frank watched the woman climb into her car and leave, and he slowly turned towards the house. Panicking that he would be caught spying, Gerard sprinted back around the backyard and into the kitchen, hopping up on a bar stool only moments before Frank walked in.

His face showed stress and worry, but it lightened a little when he saw Gerard.

"Oh hey Gee, I didn't think you would be up"

"Yeah, I uh was thirsty". Frank only nodded, not even noticing that Gerard did not have a drink anywhere near him.

"Are you ready for bed?" Gerard asked with a small smile. Frank holding Gerard every night was a treat all in its own.

"Yeah but would you mind if I slept in the guest bedroom tonight?" Gerard's smile fell.

"It's not you or anything I just have a lot on my mind."

"Oh. Sure it's you're house you can sleep where ever you want" Gerard spoke trying to mask his disappointment. With that, Frank grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and walked out. Gerard took a few moments to swallow back his hurt before making his way upstairs. Just as he suspected, the guest bedroom door was closed and when he made it to the master bedroom, it was empty. Gerard climbed up into the large bed, burrowed under the covers and tossed and turned all night worrying about what was weighing so heavily on Frank's mind.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fifteen chapters and still no smut?! I'm ashamed of myself. Let's change that right now 😈 here is 1,350 words of pure smut and a little fluff. Enjoy you thirsty babes! If you want to skip the smut, go to the next chapter. not much story movement here.

Early the next morning, Gerard devised a plan. He was about desperate at this point. He needed to break through that last barrier that Frank had up and he knew exactly how to do that.

Gerard remembered when they were dating, that Frank had a little kink. A little cross dressing kink. He always told Gerard he was so beautiful and his body was heaven. Gerard would dress up in corsets and stockings and heels, and Frank would just drool. The sex when Gerard dressed up was always fucking amazing and rough.

Gerard dug though the dresser and the closet and learned that while Frank had packed up Gerard's outfits, he didn't throw them out. They were shoved in the very back of the closet, much to Gerard's delight.

————————————————————————

10:00am. That was the best thing about Frank is he spent most mornings in his office. Tiptoeing down the steps gently, Gerard made his way towards the office. He had a black bathrobe wrapped around his body tightly to conceal what was underneath in case he ran into Ray or somebody. Gerard knocked lightly on the door, only opening it after receiving a groaned 'yes' in response.

"Hey Gee" Frank said, hardly looking up.

"Hi Frankie" Gerard said in the most seductive tone he could muster. This grabbed Frank's attention. He looked up with a quizzical brow at Gerard and his bathroom.

"What are you doing?" He asked but Frank couldn't hide the glint of excitement.

"Oh nothing" Gerard drew out as he slowly made his way to Frank's desk. "You seem kind of stressed lately so I thought I would help".

It took Frank a moment before he started piecing things together and his pants grew tighter at the thought.

"Gerard don't" he said weakly as he sat back closing his eyes.

"You don't want me to stop, do you Frankie" Gerard whispered as he sat on the desk directly in front of Frank. Frank sat further back, even pushing his chair back a few inches to make room for Gerard. Gerard knew he was winning. The bulge in Frank's jeans was a dead-giveaway.

With slow deliberate movements, Frank watched wide eyed as Gerard untied the front of his bathrobe and slipped it off revealing a lot of black lace and a lot of pure beautiful skin. Skin Frank ached so badly to mark up. Without realizing it, Frank pulled his lower lip between his teeth as his eyes raked over Gerard's gorgeous body. Frank hadn't been laid in _months_ and he was quickly losing the fight.

In a swift moment, Frank was out of his chair, grabbing Gerard's wrists and pushing him back onto the desk, pinning him down.

"Careful" Frank growled. Gerard only smiled mischievously.

"Give me everything you've got" he said and that was it. Frank was lost. Grabbing Gerard's face roughly, he brought the boy back up for a bruising kiss. Gerard smiling into it knowing he won.

Shoving Gerard back against the desk again, Frank moved his hands over Gerard's chest and stomach, relishing in the feeling of Gerard wrapped in lace under his fingers. The black against his pale skin was so enchanting and Frank drank it all in.

Moving down to the black lace panties, Frank smirked as he grabbed one of the edges and snapped it against Gerard's hip, eliciting quiet moan from the younger man.

"Are you still my slut, Gerard?" Frank asked. He saved this dirty talk for when Gerard dressed up.

"Yours. Only yours Frank" Gerard breathed out, his body heating up under the assault. Frank moved down the desk and between Gerard's legs, leaving bite marks and hickies on his thighs. Gerard couldn't help rutting his hips upward in a useless chase for friction. The straining panties were showing Frank that Gerard wanted this just as badly.

Frank slowly made his way up to Gerard's crotch as he licked at the wet spot Gerard was already sporting.

"Oh god, Frank!" Gerard exclaimed. "Please ... I need ... touch me"

Frank smirked wickedly.

"You don't make the rules around here baby." And with that he reached a hand inside the satin fabric and grabbed Gerard's cock. Gerard nearly jumped a foot at Frank's touch but practically screamed out a moan. The last two years nobody has cared about his pleasure or making Gerard feel good. His eyes rolled to the back of his head at the simple action.

Frank slowly slid the panties down Gerard's thighs, revealing his beautiful leaking member. Frank couldn't drag this out too much further so he took the head into his mouth and sucked lightly, causing Gerard to cover his mouth with his arm to muffle no doubt the slutty moan that was coming out. In one quick motion, Frank took Gerard down to the back of his throat and swallowed thickly, causing Gerard to involuntarily buck his hips upward.

"Fuck, Frank I'm gonna-" Gerard was cut off by a groan when Frank pulled off entirely.

"No, you aren't" Frank smiled. "Not yet anyway". Frank shoved two fingers into Gerard's mouth. Gerard began sucking and lavishing the digits with his tongue while Frank unbuttoned his jeans.

Abruptly pulling his fingers out, Frank circled Gerard's entrance as he slipped one inside. Gerard became adjusted to it quickly and Frank added a second and the soon a third. Frank deliberately missed his prostate for fear that he would come too soon and Gerard was internally grateful. 

Gerard huffed impatiently when Frank pulled his fingers out and spit into his palm, lubing up his own aching member. Lining up with Gerard's entrance, Frank pushed in slowly until he bottomed out, his legs trembling a little at the intense pleasure. Gerard was so hot and tight and it was blowing Frank's mind.

"Move, oh god please move" Gerard sobbed. Frank started up a slow deliberate rhythm as he thrust in and out. Within a few thrusts, Frank had found Gerard's prostate and increased his speed to begin pounding into it. Gerard arched his back beautiful as the most erotic sounds just poured out of his mouth.

"You sound so fucking good, baby" Frank groaned as continued to just pound mercilessly into the boy below him. Feeling his orgasm rapidly approaching, Frank wanted to throw Gerard over the edge first. Grabbing the base of his cock, Frank began pumping in time with his thrusts. Gerard didn't even care anymore about being quiet because this was way too fucking perfect.

"Fuck fuck fuck!" Gerard chanted and Frank knew what that meant. A few pumps later and he was coming hard all over Frank and himself. It was a hell of a sight and more than enough to send Frank over the edge himself.

Gerard slumped back against the desk, panting, while Frank clutched the desk, desperate to catch his breath and begin to come down from his high. Frank waited for their heaven to shatter around them to reality. He waited for the sick and sinking feeling in his stomach but all he felt was warmth and contentment.

After a few minutes of silence, Frank pulled out of Gerard with a wince and slowly buttoned his jeans. He leaned over Gerard to see that his eyes were shut. Frank was instantly worried. Did Gerard just regret this? When his eyes opened, Frank saw a sparkle that nearly made him gasp.

"I love you, Gerard" Frank said softly as he leaned forward and kissed his swollen lips.

"I can't do this back and forth Frank" Gerard spoke with a raspy voice. "You're giving me whiplash. So please. Just please. Either love me, all of me, or leave me where you found me."

Frank thought it over for a moment but the answer was never more clearer. He leaned forward and left another gentle kiss on Gerard's lips. After, he rested his forehead against Gerard's, with his eyes closed.

"I love you more than anything Gee. I'm not going anywhere". When he opened his eyes he saw Gerard's wide honey colored eyes, searching Frank's for any sign of doubt. When he didn't find any, Gerard wrapped his arms around his neck and cried. These were the first ever happy tears that he probably ever cried.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now let's all collectively say "aww". I need a shower after all that 😬 A little smut, a little fluff. Enjoy the peace, kids because it can't last. Time for some curve balls 😁


	17. Chapter 17

Gerard was sore and tired, but Frank promised him a date that very night. Frank told Gerard to get dressed up and be ready at 8. Here it was, 7:55 and Gerard sat drumming his fingers against his thigh, impatiently waiting. Frank came down the steps in a white button down shirt and black slacks. The slacks were from the sit down with his father, the one that made his ass look phenomenal. Gerard blushed a little at the memory.

"Ready Gee?" Frank smiled brightly as he reached the bottom of the steps.

"Absolutely" Gerard smiled back. Frank hesitantly reached for Gerard's hand as he made their way outside. Like awkward young teenagers, they held hands ungracefully as they made their way to Frank's car. Frank opened the passenger door to his little sports car, the black Mercedes that Gerard always loved riding around in. Helping Gerard in and shutting the door behind him, Frank practically jogged around to the drivers side.

"So where are we going?" Gerard asked excitedly as Frank closed his door behind himself.

"It's a surprise" Frank smirked as he started up the engine and began pulling out of the driveway. Twenty minutes later, the car was pulled up in front of a fancy Italian restaurant that looked oddly familiar. Climbing out and letting the valet park his car, Frank grabbed Gerard's hand as they looked up at the front of the building. The familiarity of this place hit Gerard instantly and he looked back at Frank smiling shyly.

"Andiamos? Where we had our first date?"

"What better place to reignite our relationship than going back to the place where we first started the flame?" Frank asked with a proud smile. Gerard held back tears as he nodded furiously. Hand in hand, the couple made their way inside.

————————————————————————

The meal was wonderful. Frank held Gerard's hand for nearly the entire meal, stroking his thumb lightly across Gerard's knuckles. The two talked on and on just like old times. After Frank paid what was no doubt a pricey bill, the two made their way outside. The night was surprisingly warm for winter and Frank and Gerard decided to go for a walk around the city.

The two walked up and down the streets, Frank even sneaking a kiss on Gerard's cheek. The couple made it to a park, watching guitar players play and other couples walking hand in hand. During dinner Frank was so attentive but while on their walk he seemed lost in thought.

"Frankie?" Gerard shook his arm slightly.

"Hm? Oh sorry"

"Why are so lost in your head?" Gerard giggled.

"Just thinking."

"About...?"

"How beautiful you are in the moonlight" Frank said smiling, avoiding the real thoughts that were plaguing his mind. Luckily for him it was an answer that Gerard seemed to accept.

Frank pulled out a cigarette and lit it, causing Gerard to frown a little. He knew Frank smoked occasionally but in all their times together Frank only seemed to smoke in front of Gerard when he was stressed or overly tired. Gerard was about to ask about it when a woman came out of no where wielding a Polaroid camera and asked if they wanted their photo taken.

"Sure" Frank said letting go of Gerard's hand and wrapping his arm around the boys waist pulling him in closer. The couple smiled as the flash went off on the camera. The woman pulled the developing photo from her camera and handed it to Gerard as she turned and walked away.

Shaking it like he saw people do with Polaroid pictures when he was younger, the streetlights slowly showed a picture emerging of both men smiling and happy.

"It's a nice picture" Frank said before inhaling another lungful of smoke. He slowly exhaled as the smoke danced away and disappeared into the night. "It's a shame there is only one".

"Well we can always get copies made" Gerard smiled a little while taking Frank's hand again.

Fearing he would lose the photo, Gerard slid it into his coat pocket as they resumed their idle stroll on the park trail. They were beginning to make their way to a section of the park that wasn't very populated and didn't have many lights. Frank wasn't afraid, he was always carrying a weapon on his person, but he really didn't like to get in entanglements out here in the open if he could help it.

Making their way through a dark dense section of tree covered trail, they found themselves in an open area of the park, the only people being a group of three men in dark clothes standing far off to the side.

"Oops, I think we went a little too far" Gerard said as he turned and began leading Frank back the way they came. That was until a rough voice yelled his name, causing Gerard to freeze in his tracks. Frank also recognized that voice but he couldn't quite place who it belonged to.

"I knew you were fucking the mob boss. Once a whore always a whore" the voice yelled out. Both men turned around as a man stepped forward into the ambiance of the street light. His lips twisted into a sick smile as Frank raked over the man's features, trying to place his name position in Frank's life. Then it hit him like a baseball bat. Jed.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> buckle up, it's about to get hairy

Jed looked like hell. He clearly had spent the last few days in a drug induced stupor and telling from the bloodshot eyes and sudden confidence towards a very angry looking mafia don, he was still pretty high.

"How lucky am I that I get to bump into these two love birds" Jed's booming voice rose. But the chances of many people hearing it were slim and as much as Gerard tried to save face, he was becoming frightened.

"We had a deal" Frank growled. "It's just too bad you'll have to send two other people down the same fate as you". Slowly Frank began moving his hand towards the holster that he had tucked under his shirt concealing his gun under his arm.

"Oh I really wouldn't do that if I were you. All your secrets will come flooding out" Jed said with a crooked grin. Gerard looked up at Frank in confusion. Secrets?

"You want to talk about secrets?" Frank smirked. "You are far from an innocent man". Gerard watched a flash of fear dance across Jed's face before he composed himself. In a quick fluid motion, Frank pulled the gun from his holster and pointed it at the two men standing a few feet away from Jed.

"Leave if you know what's good for you!" Frank yelled. The two men looked at each other then back at Jed before turning on their heels and sprinting away. "I don't like witnesses" Frank smiled wickedly at Jed as he slowly aimed the gun at him.

"Frank!" Gerard's voice cut in. "For gods sake put that gun down before someone sees it and you're arrested." Gerard had a point. Those crooked cop bastards would arrest Frank for anything at this point. He needed to regain control of the situation before something bad happened. Frank slowly lowered his gun but refused to holster it just yet.

"Alright you stupid fuck. Why don't you tell Gerard all about your life. Your real life. You said you loved Gerard but he doesn't even know your name" Frank smirked and Jed's head lowered a little. Gerard glanced between the two men trying to ascertain what was happening.

"Oh, you don't want to? Fine. Honesty is always the best policy. Gerard, this man's name is Jeremy Martins and he is a member of the FBI. Well, _was._ He was assigned to you to try to get to your father and me until his dumb ass got tangled in the drugs. He was fired after failing a random drug test."

Gerard furrowed his brows. When he first met Jed he was a well cut man with a gorgeous smile. Now he looked at Jed and he was skinny and dirty. Gerard winced as he put the pieces together. He was so desperate for love and companionship after Frank that he ignored the signs about this gorgeous man who was pursuing him.

"You lied to me?" Gerard whispered.

"I did my job" Jed grunted back.

"Clearly not, that's why you are out here and not in that spacious apartment you used to live in when you started at the bureau" Frank cut in. Jed's head shots up towards Frank and his eyes grew dark.

"Yeah, I took advantage of him. I didn't need to fuck him or fuck with his head but I did. The difference is I'm a piece of shit. You on the other hand come off as very eloquent when you are equally a piece of shit." Jed growled.

"Honestly is the best policy, isn't it? Why don't you tell him the truth Frank. Tell him your dirty little secret." Jed seethed. When Frank failed to make a sound, he continued. "Tell him about her. About Jamia."

"W-What about her?" Gerard stuttered, confused on how quickly this conversation was moving. He felt a knot forming in his stomach.

"Come on Frank, tell Gee all about her. Better yet, tell him she's back". Gerard's face went blank.

"Back?" He asked breathlessly looking between the two men. "No, she can't be back. She-she's dead. You told me yourself."

"I told you I didn't know what happened to her" Frank sighed.

"But now you know... come on Frank just tell me the entire fucking story for once instead of me getting it piece by piece!" Gerard heard himself yelling. Frank sighed again.

"Tell Gee how long she's been back, Frank. Oh just wait Gerard you're going to love this". Frank could only glare at Jed.

"Jamia got in touch with me about three months after we started dating. She told me I needed to come immediately so I went to Italy to visit."

"You- you told me that was a business trip. You were gone for fucking two weeks. You spent that whole time fucking somebody else?!" Gerard was starting to hyperventilate and he just wanted to disappear.

"No, you don't understand. She has my son, Gerard." Frank pinched the bridge of his nose.

"She told me about him early into our relationship. Apparently after the raid she fled to Italy to be safe from retaliation. Turned out she was pregnant. She called me after the baby was born, so I went to Italy to meet him. Baby Gio" he said with a sad smile on his face. "I didn't know how to tell you so I just ... didn't. For the sake of Gio we tried to get married in Italy. I intended to bring them both back and ... and break up with you. Jamia had my heart. But before I came back to the states I learned our marriage wasn't valid because of some Italian law that says I needed to be a citizen for so long. I didn't have the time to stay so I came home. Before we could pursue marriage again, I fell in love with you. I fell head over heels for you, Gerard, so I told her I didn't want to marry her anymore. She took Gio and refused to let me see or even talk to him. It destroyed me. Two months ago she showed up on my doorstep saying the only way I would be able to see my son would be to marry her. She wants to be a US citizen so badly but I know once I do she will take Gio and disappear somewhere in the states. I've been spending my time since then trying to string her along and see my boy while trying to figure out how to get custody of him." Frank looked like he was about to cry talking about his son but Gerard's brain was slowly catching up.

"Oh my god" Gerard was panting and his head was spinning. Frank fucking married someone while they were dating. It wasn't the nauseous feeling anymore, it was real. Gerard fell to his knees and threw up all over the ground as his body shook and his tears poured out. After several moments, Frank crouched down next to Gerard and gently rested his hand on the younger's shoulder. Gerard shrugged it off as he struggled to stand back up, his legs trembling violently, threatening to give out.

"Just please tell me the truth. Did you cheat on me? Did you have sex with Jamia or anyone else for that matter starting after our first date?" Gerard spoke barely above a whisper. He didn't want to know yet he needed to know. Frank's gaze dropped to the ground for a long moment before nodding a little. Gerard scoffed.

"But it was early in our relationship Gerard please understand. I was confused and honestly thought it was the right thing to do. I didn't want to call and break up with you over the phone so I figured I would wait and do it face to face but the minute I saw your face I knew that I was falling for you." Frank was grasping at straws as Gerard slowly began backing away from both men.

"I just wanted a normal life with normal people and I fucking have you two" Gerard spat before turning around and running as fast as he could into the darkness of the night.

"Gerard!" Frank called, but he couldn't will his legs to move and run after him. Frank put his face in his hands as he fought back more tears.

"At least my work is done" Jed mumbled smugly. Jed. His voice, his face, just his being was enough to throw Frank into a wild state of mind. Standing abruptly, Frank aimed his gun at Jed again.

"Gerard hate me because of you" Frank whispered.

"No" Jed laughed. "He hates you because of _you_".


	19. Chapter 19

Gerard ran hard. He ran past people and weaved through cars. He wanted to keep running forever. Unfortunately he eventually needed to catch his breath and had to stop at some corner of a brick building. Looking around, Gerard had no idea where he was. These businesses looked unfamiliar and the street was uncharacteristically empty for a large city.

He slowly walked down the street trying to make out if this was a dangerous part of town or a decent part of town. Most of the businesses were closed for the night except one towards the other end of the block. As Gerard approached he saw large letters in the window reading 'DIANE'S DESSERTS'. Gerard breathed a sigh of relief. People. He could maybe borrow a phone and call someone. Maybe Lindsey or even maybe his father. As he picked up his pace to approach the shop, a couple walked out and began walking the opposite direction. They were huddled together and exchanged kisses and giggles. The sight honestly hurt Gerard's heart but his self loathing thoughts were stopped abruptly when he recognized the silhouette of a curly Afro.

"Ray?!" Gerard called. The couple stopped and turned around slowly, revealing the very confused faces of Ray and Christa.

"Gerard?" Christa said. Gerard sprinted at them full force and threw himself into both of their arms as he began crying hysterically again. The couple looked at each other in confusion.

"Gerard? Gerard, what happened? Where is Frank?" Ray asked with a concerned tone. Gerard had stuffed his face into Christa's shoulder and between that and the cries of agony Ray could only make out one word: _Jamia_.

"Shit" Ray mumbled as he tried helping Christa calm Gerard down. Ray knew about Jamia and Gio but he also knew that Gerard didn't know.

It took a long time to calm Gerard down enough to talk to him. He wouldn't talk about Frank or Jamia but from the look Ray gave Christa, she shouldn't press the matter.

"It's late, Gee, can we take you home? Ray's car is right over there" Christa spoke gently. Gerard took a step back like he was getting ready to run again as he shook his head furiously.

"O-okay, okay not to Frank's. But you can't stay out here all night. Where do you want to go? We'll drive you" She insisted. After thinking for a moment. Gerard spoke.

"M-my dad's."

As they climbed into the car, Christa sat in the backseat as Gerard rested his head against her shoulder. Gerard's eyes were closed as the scene from the night played out in his head. _She has my son. We tried to get married. I intended to break up with you_. Warm tears slid down his cheeks and he quickly wiped them away.

A blaring phone ringer caused both Christa and Gerard to jump. Ray fished his phone out of his pocket and Gerard could see over his shoulder that it was Frank.

"Please don't tell him I'm with you. Please." Gerard begged. Ray nodded and silenced the ringing as he looked back at Christa silently telling her to occupy him. She just squeezed his hand as she tried to think what to bring up that wouldn't cause him to get hysterical again.

"W-What are you guys doing out here so late?" Gerard asked, clearly just as desperate as Christa was to change the subject. Christa blushed as she smiled a little.

"Oh uh ... Ray he brought me to my favorite little dessert shop and asked me to marry him" she held out her left hand to reveal a sparkling diamond ring on her petite finger.

"You're engaged" Gerard breathed out as he forced himself to smile. Had he been given this news on any other day he would have been thrilled and jumping for joy with his friend. "It's beautiful. Congratulations you guys" he said softly. He laid his head back on Christa's shoulder and she laid hers on top of his as the rest of the ride back to John's house was quiet. During this time Ray stealth-fully sneaked a text off to Frank that he had Gerard and Ray would call him later.

Pulling into the driveway, Gerard had instant nostalgia. He hadn't been here in years but it honestly didn't look like it changed a bit. As Gerard clutched Christa's hand tightly, the three made their way to the front door.

It was nearly 11p and Gerard had no clue if his father was even home, but figured if he didn't answer Gerard could find the hidden key and let himself in. The door was suddenly yanked open and a tired looking John in sweats and a long sleeve night shirt stood there, his eyes becoming wide as he took in his son.

"Can we come in?" Ray asked. John just nodded as he ushered the three in.

"I'm sorry dad I didn't have anywhere else to go and-"

"Gerard you never need an excuse or a reason to come home" John said softly as he enveloped his crying son in his arms. "I left your room the same and you can stay here as long as you want to."

Christa figured she should probably take Gerard to his room and help him get settled in while Ray explain to John what was happening.

"Come on, Gee" she said as she pulled him towards the steps. She had no clue where she was going but figured Gerard would correct her if she was wrong. Once they were out of sight, John turned to Ray and crossed his arms.

"What happened?" He asked.

"You'd better put on a pot of coffee, this is going to take a while" Ray sighed.

————————————————————————

"It must be nice, growing up as a rich kid" Christa joked lightly and Gerard smiled a bit as they entered his room. "Literally. This room is the size of my entire first apartment". Gerard kicked his shoes off in the corner and shrugged his jacket off. The photo from earlier in the night fell to the floor. Gerard crouched down to pick it up and felt a flash of anger roll through him. Frank could smile and hold Gerard like he hadn't done terrible things. Like he hadn't cheated and lied and betrayed. Cold hearted bastard. Gerard stood up and gripped the photo with both hands ready to rip it before Christa's delicate fingers wrapped around his.

"Don't" she whispered. "Don't try to remove him from your life like that. That's how you ended up in a drug induced haze the first time." Gerard knew she was right and slowly loosened his grip on the photo until Christa took it out of his hands. She tucked the photo into a drawer in his desk and turned back towards Gerard.

"You need sleep. You need time to digest everything. Don't make choices when you're upset or angry because you will _always_ regret them. You're so lucky Gerard. You have been through a lot but you have so much more out there. You don't have a spouse or kids so you can live your life for you. Do what you want. Become what you want to be. And maybe in the process you'll meet a nice man who will only enhance your life, not bring it down."

As Gerard climbed under the covers, Christa grabbed a pencil and a scrap of paper from his desktop. She scribbled a bunch of numbers and placed it back down on the desk.

"There is my number, I want to stay in touch. I want to hear from you all the time, Gerard, even if it's just a text. I still want to be your friend" she said quietly as she gripped his hands with both of hers.

"You always will be" Gerard said as he sat up quickly and wrapped his arms around her neck. They hugged for several moments before exhaustion started pulling at Gerard.

"I should probably rescue your dad from Ray. But call me as soon as you get a phone" Christa said as she kissed Gerard on his forehead. She wasn't four feet out of his bedroom before she heard soft snores coming from his bed.


	20. Chapter 20

_~1 year later~_

Gerard groaned as his alarm clock bellowed. He didn't want to get up this early and usually he didn't have to but this was the start of a special weekend: Christa and Ray's wedding. Granted it was also nearly noon, that was still early to Gerard. Three days after learning about Jamia, Gerard went and had his phone reactivated and the first text he sent was to Christa. They spoke practically every day. It was Christa who helped get him the job he had.

A college friend of hers owned an art gallery where he would display up and coming artists and she was able to get Gerard a job as the gallery recruiter. He would go out looking for unrecognized talent to be showcased in the gallery. It was a job that he fucking loved to say the least. It took him all over the city and even out of state on occasion. He would find classical artists, street artists, photographers, anyone with talent.

The job didn't pay great but did keep his head above water. He could eat decently and afford a small one bedroom apartment in an iffy part of town, but it was all his.

Christa even helped color his hair not long after getting the job. The red was growing old and Gerard decided to go back to black. They hung out all the time so it was only natural of Christa to ask Gerard to be her "man of honor". Which he gleefully said yes before asking the obvious question.

"I'm not sure who Ray is picking for his groomsmen but I doubt he would ask Frank. They work together" Christa shrugged. It was a good enough answer for Gerard.

Because of his work schedule, he had to go with Christa separately to try on his tux for the wedding, but he didn't mind. It was a simple black suit coat with black slacks, a black waist coat and a black tie with a white shirt. He wasn't much of a suit person but even he had to admit it looked pretty damn good.

Within that year, Gerard accomplished a lot personally. He started therapy to learn better coping skills and deal with his addiction pangs. He even met some great friends. Things were really looking up.

Once Gerard's phone was reactivated he saw Frank's number and fought every urge he had to delete it or block it. Christa had a point, not to try and eliminate people when one is upset. He finally did decide to delete the number, but didn't block it, curious to see if Frank would ever try to call him. He never did.

It was surprisingly a lot easier to let go of Frank this time. Gerard honestly didn't feel like there was any unspoken words that needed to be said. Sure the first few months he cried himself to sleep almost every night, but any time he thought about calling or texting, he remembered Jamia. Anytime Gerard would try to casually bring it up to see how Frank was, Christa would tell him that she doesn't see him much so she didn't really know.

About a month after Gerard returned home, he saw a small article in the paper about a missing former FBI agent who went rogue. No surprises it was a picture of Jed before the drugs got to him. While the article asked for help on locating him, it did also mention his drug use and ties to the mafia so it was assumed he went the way of Jimmy Hoffa.

After having some coffee and checking his emails about some new potential pieces for the gallery, Gerard packed a bag for the weekend and left to head to Ray's parents home. Christa and Ray decided to get married at Ray's parents home, which was ironically only about six blocks from Frank's home. Their house was enormous and Christa had been working around the clock prepping the backyard for a sunset ceremony.

After Christa showed Gerard to the guest bedroom he would be staying in that weekend, the couple and several friends had dinner together under the stars, laughing and sharing stories. Gerard sat on edge all night until Christa mentioned that Frank wouldn't be joining them that night. Gerard was able to relax, enjoy himself and mingle.

————————————————————————

It was 3p the next day and Gerard made his way downstairs fully dressed in his suit. He was a little hungry but mostly waiting until he would be summoned back to Christa's room to help her get ready. She was showering and he he figured it would be a while.

The whole house was decorated in tulle and roses and everyone was dressed up, even the house keepers who were walking around with glasses of champagne or plates of hour devours. Gerard was standing at the island counter in the kitchen drinking some water went he felt something bump his leg. It caused him to spill a little on his sleeve. He looked down to see a young child with chocolate brown hair and big hazel eyes staring up at him.

"I'm sorry" his little voice said quietly. "I didn't mean to bump into you". Gerard smiled and crouched down to be eye level with the cute kid in a matching suit.

"That's okay. I like your suit".

"Thanks" the boy smiled proudly. "I promised Christa and Mr Ray that I would wear it and not get it dirty but it's so hard."

"I know what you mean but don't worry. Even if you get dirty you'll still look handsome".

The boy smiled again. "What's your name?" He asked.

"You can call me Gee. What about yours?"

"Oh I'm-"

"Gio! Oh Gio you can't just wander away buddy, there are too many people and this house is too big you could get lost" a familiar voice spoke. Frank appeared practically out of nowhere, crouching down and putting his arm around Gio's. He only glanced briefly at Gerard.

"I know daddy I'm sorry. There are just no kids here to play with so I went to find some and I met Gee" he said.

"You met who..?" Frank followed Gio's vision until he laid eyes on Gerard. It took a moment for his memory to connect but when he recognized who it was, Frank's eyes got big.

"Oh, uh I'm sorry Gee-Gerard I didn't uh recognize you" Frank spoke as he stood up. Gerard followed and also stood back up.

"Yeah I got rid of the red. It was time for a change" Gerard said as he ran his fingers through his hair. His heart was beating a mile a minute and he just wanted to kick himself for not recognizing the little boy before. When Gerard looked back towards Gio he could see it, Gio looked exactly like Frank, minus the billions of tattoos.

"So, uh, this is your son?" Gerard winced at how awkward this already was and he was only making it worse.

"Yeah-yes. This is Gio"

"That's what dad calls me but my real name is Giovanni Salvatore Antonio Andretti Iero" Gio said proudly.

"That's one hell of a long name" Gerard tried to bite back a smile.

"Yeah, daddy swears too." The boy blushed.

"Oh god I'm sorry I didn't-"

"Don't sweat it Gee. You can't say anything to him that he hasn't already heard before" Frank shrugged.

"My name used to be shorter until we changed it" Gio chimed in.

"Oh? How so?" Gerard couldn't help but feel kind of attached to this little guy already.

"Well daddy had it changed but I don't really know how". Gerard looked back to Frank for an explanation.

"When I got custody of Gio I added 'Iero' to the end of his name. His mother came up with the rest."

"So, uh yeah. How is Jamia?" Gerard heard himself ask before he could even stop it. He casually dropped his gaze to his left ring finger to see if there was a wedding band there but only a silver band that he always wore.

"I don't like to talk about it in front of Gio" Frank mumbled quietly.

"Oh sorry" Gerard's cheeks turned pink at his embarrassment. Only then did Gerard notice Frank wore the same suit as Gerard and Gio. "Wait are you..."

"I'm Ray's best man" Frank said with an almost 'isn't it obvious' face.

Before Gerard could even react, one of the bridesmaids, Christa's friend named Juliette came in.

"Gerard! I've been looking everywhere for you. Christa needs your help" she said linking Gerard's arm with hers and leading him away. Before being yanked out of the kitchen entirely, Gerard turned around and took one last look at Frank who had picked up Gio and had him on his hip as he watched Gerard leave.


	21. Chapter 21

"You never told me Frank would be here" Gerard burst in practically whining.

"Well I didn't know for sure that he would be until everyone tried on tuxes" Christa defended as she put on her jewelry.

"A month ago. Everyone got their tuxes sized a month ago, so you knew and you didn't tell me". Gerard was starting to get a little upset. Christa turned to face him.

"Gee, I didn't tell you because then I knew you wouldn't come. This is mine and Ray's most special day and we want to share it with people that mean the most to us. Frank means the most to Ray and you mean the most to me. Please just for today ignore the past and help me marry the love of my life?" Christa pleaded. After a few brief moments, Gerard sighed in defeat.

"Fine. _Fine_. But then tomorrow I go back to my _normal_ life" Gerard groaned. He grabbed the veil from the clip it was hanging on in the closet and walked back over to Christa. The sooner they got this wedding underway, the sooner he could leave.

————————————————————————

The wedding party began lining up in the kitchen. Three groomsmen, three bridesmaids, Frank, Gerard, Gio, some little blonde haired girl in a dress, Ray and Christa.

"I hope you don't mind if you walk down together" Ray spoke as he adjusted his tie.

"I'd rather-"

"We don't mind" Frank interrupted. Gerard scowled. Ray smiled as he made his way to the front of the procession. They would walk out the double French doors of the kitchen and down the long aisle into the garden where all the guests were seated. There was a wooden arch set up where the minister was already standing and waiting. First Ray went. Then the first couple. Then the second. Then the third. Gerard grew nervous at the prospect of having to touch Frank again.

"Come one, Gee, it's our turn" Frank said softly as he held out his arm for Gerard to take. Linking arms, the two men started their stride up the aisle. Touching Frank again, just being this close to him was overwhelming and it was hard for Gerard to even breathe. Frank's arm was strong and warm and he walked with such confidence. Gerard was jealous that Frank could easily forget the situations of the past and act so normal.

Once they got to the alter, Frank slowly let go of Gerard's arm and they made their way to their spots. Gerard watched Frank hug Ray and congratulate him. Ray whispered something in Frank's ear and he kind of smiled a little before taking his spot behind Ray. Once Gio and the flower girl had made their way down the aisle and everyone cooed at how cute they were, the doors were opened and a radiant looking Christa emerged. All the guests stood as she made her way closer to Ray and Gerard stole a glance at the groom to see him subtly wipe a tear. Gerard's gaze slipped behind to see a smiling Frank, looking almost envious when he peered over at Ray. When Frank's eyes snapped from Ray to Gerard and the two men stared at each other for a moment, Gerard blushed and looked down.

The ceremony went without a hitch and after Frank and Gerard linked arms to go back up the aisle, they were practically ripped apart when Gio came running and jumped into Frank's arms.

"You did great, little guy" Frank gushed and Gerard slowly backed up until he could turn and leave the father and son, unnoticed.

————————————————————————

Dinner went fine and even the dance out in the garden wasn't too bad. Lindsey had showed up and Gerard clung to her practically the entire night. Frank had disappeared a while ago and Gerard figured he had left. Having a small child minimized your social calendar, apparently.

Gerard was starting to get tired and contemplated turning in for the night when he noticed Frank re-enter the party. Lindsey was off on the corner talking to or making out with some chick she met, Gerard couldn't be quite sure but when Frank saw Gerard sitting at a table all by himself, he made a B line for him.

"Hi Gee" he said shyly as he sat down.

"What, you aren't going to ask me for a dance or something?" Gerard was trying to sound like he was joking but it came out more bitter.

"What? No that would be a little weird, we haven't talked in a year." The pair fell into a brief silence.

"Where is Gio?" Gerard asked.

"Bed. It's late. Jeanie is watching him tonight. Thank god for her, I wouldn't have any clue what to do with a kid" Frank chuckled.

"Where is Jamia? Am I allowed to ask?" Frank sighed.

"Jamia was here on a tourist visa. Good for 90 days. During that time I was able to convince her to let me take Gio on outings alone. One of those outings we had a paternity test done. Not that I didn't think he was mine because fuck, Gerard he looks exactly like me. But I wanted to have something on paper that said he was mine. She overstayed her visa and when immigration came to deport her she tried to take Gio again. I showed them that Gio was my son and they let me keep him. Since then Jamia has been demanding I send him back but I just can't do that. I'll never see him again if I do. I feel bad making the choice for Gio to be with his father and not his mother but from what I heard Jamia wasn't around much anyway."

"Well that's good, i guess. I'm glad for you Frank" Gerard said genuinely. After another brief silence, Frank spoke up.

"I want to apologize, Gerard" Frank started.

"Please don't" Gerard interrupted.

"I need to though. I treated you poorly and lied to you and put you in dangerous situations for my own benefit and I'm so fucking sorry."

"Well there is that whole cheating part" Gerard snipped.

"Do you remember the first time I told you I loved you? That summer in the park? We had been together for, what maybe five months? That's when I truly knew you were the one for me and I promise Gerard that I never looked at another man _or_ woman in any capacity as more than a friend since that day. I know it doesn't mean much at this point but I never slept with Jamia or anyone after I told you I loved you."

"So what now? Where do we go from here?" Gerard asked.

"We did this wrong. This entire thing was wrong from the very beginning. And I know you've given me so many chances but all I'm asking for is one more. One more to do everything right. One more to show you truly who I am. No secrets, nothing. Just you and me. And Gio."

Gerard thought it over. He still loved Frank but Frank had a point that he treated Gerard like shit.

"Let's sleep on it tonight and see what our hearts tell us in the morning" Gerard concluded. He was taking Christa's advice on not making decisions that were emotion-based and this would give a little time for the thoughts to rationalize.

"Well in that case, can I have this dance?" Frank asked with his hand held out as the song turned into a slow melody and couples started swaying back and forth.

"Yes" Gerard said, letting Frank lead him to the dance floor. They stood pressed up against each other as Frank wrapped his arms around Gerard's waist and pressed his face into Gerard's shoulder. Gerard followed suit and wrapped his arms around Frank's neck, resting his chin on top of Frank's head.

_I love you_. It was on the tips of both of their tongues as they swayed back and forth to the music but both men decided not to let those three little words out. They both put their faith into the evening, knowing full well that come morning they would either decide to work it out or walk away. They couldn't deny the strong pull that continuously brought them together and that had to count for something. But they would leave everything in the hands of fate and giving up that kind of control was oddly comforting; to both men.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And with that, In a Pool of Blood is done! Idk. I kind of like the ambiguity of the ending and letting the readers decide where things go from here. Tell me what you think.


End file.
